Word Travels Fast
by Iffy Jr
Summary: MULTIPLE PAIRING college professor/student AU; main: Loki/Tony. "In which Loki is stuck between two, Tony meets his rival and match, Maria and Bucky will forever argue, Jane and Thor are in fact MORE than a simple pity relationship, and Natasha decides she should finally stop teasing Clint." COMPLETE.
1. Part I, Chapter I

Author's note: You guys do not even understand how long ago I wrote this okay. I was bored, so I had to finish it. It's a college/student AU with Loki the main character for part one, and then multiple mains in part two. There are multiple pairings, being Loki/Tony, Bucky/Maria, Thor/Jane, and Clint/Natasha. Part I is in Loki's PoV and all about him and Tony, and then part II jumps around in the PoV of the others and each of the three chapters is their ship. All of the Avengers characters (minus Loki) are college professors at the college that Loki and Darcy go to in New York, and that's how they all meet. Also yes I know that Loki is 6'2" but I'm making him 5'11" so he's not almost a foot taller than Tony's 5'9". Aaaand I know that Tony is like 48 and Bruce is I don't know 45 but for reasons Tony is 28 and Bruce is 32.

Okay wow short notes. Onward!

PS Loki is gay buuut I'm not making a huge deal about it, so in the initial background shit it's never actually said straight out that he likes guys, but it is obvious.

PPS the entirety of Part I used to be in Loki's first person PoV sooo if it messes up from what it's supposed to be as third person, that's why.

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: MULTIPLE PAIRING college professor/student AU; main: Loki/Tony. "In which Loki is stuck between two, Tony meets his rival and match, Maria and Bucky do nothing but argue, Jane and Thor are in fact MORE than a simple pity relationship, and Natasha is a master teaser when it comes to Clint." COMPLETE.  
_(__Summaries of individual parts/pairings__ at the beginning of their chapters.)_

**Pairings**: (Outcomes) Tony/Loki, Bucky/Maria, Thor/Natasha, Clint Natasha, Steve/Peggy, Happy/Pepper; (Others) Thor/Loki, platonic Loki/Darcy

**Rating**: Mature  
**Warnings/rating reason**: m/m and m/f pairings; strong language

* * *

**Part I: Loki (and Tony)**

[Part I Summary: In which Loki happens to like assholes, Tony doesn't want to hurt a best friend with a lie that's not really a lie, Thor is still in love, and there will be _no_ homemade sex tapes.]

**Part I, Chapter I: The First Day**

Loki wakes with a sigh. It's his first day of college, after all, and who likes going to school? Not him.

"Loookiii!" someone yells before bursting through the bedroom door in nothing but a towel to wrap their hair up, so their body is completely exposed. "Up, up and away, or you'll be late!"

Loki glares up at Darcy, thanking the gods that it's second nature to just look up at her face—not to mention how _not his type_ she is. "I have an alarm clock, you know."

"Well, it never hurts to make sure you don't sleep in till noon like you did your senior year."

"Yes, to which I snuck in and nobody even knew that I was gone. I didn't even get marked tardy."

"Well, they won't give you a tardy here, either, but they might lock the door on you. Do you need help getting dressed again?"

Loki refrains from saying, "Do _you_?" and instead says, "Are you never going to let that go? I was on _crutches_."

"And you had to pee sitting down."

"Letting you hold my cock while I went to the bathroom was not an option."

She smirks and says, "Pop Tarts for breakfast!" before spinning around and running towards the kitchen. Loki counts to three in his head before he hears Jane scream before giving a very stern "GO PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON", in which Darcy stalks past my bedroom again with a very grumpy look.

Loki sighs again. He's been living with Darcy Lewis and her two best friends, Jane Foster and Erik Selvig, since he was going into his sophomore year. His parents were on a road trip across the country (leaving Loki with old family friends: the Odinson's) from New York to California, up to Washington State, diagonal to Florida, and back up to New York (Loki never managed to think through enough if the design was a badly drawn infinity sign or a sideways hourglass).

When his parents got to New Mexico, though…well, that was as far as they got. It was a simple car accident, and Darcy and the other two were the ones to call 9-1-1 since they saw the whole thing happen. They called Loki, too, since he was their last remaining relative. Jane was the one that called him to the hospital. They helped him through the funeral and…well, without anything to live for in New York (Loki may not have liked his parents very much, but he still loved them), he just stayed with them. They're his family, now.

The Odinson's have managed to contact Loki a couple of times, but he never has been by their son, Thor. He and Loki used to be boyfriends. Loki hasn't talked to him in three years, though, and he had to change his number back during the first year he was gone so he would stop calling.

And now…well, now Loki is back in New York to attend a college here. Darcy and Jane have come with him. They've moved into the same apartment, Darcy and Jane sharing a bedroom since there are only two, and they've been completely settled in for a week now. The Odinson's don't know that Loki is back, and he's hoping that they never find out. Thor's parents are old enough to me Loki's _grandparents_, but Thor is only two years older than Loki's age of twenty-one. Darcy is twenty and Jane is twenty-six.

Loki gets up and throws on some new clothes that be bought with Darcy, because she's a lot better at clothes shopping than Jane is, who would rather shop for groceries. She's good with birthday cards, too.

"Took you long enough," Darcy says around a Pop Tart when Loki makes it into the kitchen. "What, you had to masturbate in the shower first?"

Jane scolds her in the sweet, quiet voice she's been graced with. Loki likes quiet people.

"I didn't shower," Loki says, picking up his own Pop Tart and a glass of orange juice.

"Ew," Darcy says.

Loki rolls his eyes. "Seeing as thought I took one at ten last night, I think I'll be fine. You know I don't like my hair when it's wet, and I want it to look good for the first day of classes."

"You always were one for first impressions," Jane says politely, refilling his orange juice glass.

"But then, the second time…" Darcy says in a hushed tone, leaning across the table towards Loki. "TIGER. RAWR."

Loki doesn't even bat an eyelash as he takes the final bite of his second Pop Tart. He's used to Darcy's…eccentric personality. And she knows that, so she's not at all offended when he says, "I'm more of a snake, really. Small and quiet, waiting to strike in the shadows."

"True," Darcy says, sitting back down normally. "Also without ear holes so you can tune everybody out as you please."

"Precisely."

"What classes are you taking again, Loki?" Jane asks. She's always trying to make us join in with her _normal_ conversation.

"Um, every week I've got advanced materials science and engineering techniques, compuer science and design, dead and modern languages, world geography, chemistry, and physics/astronomy."

"_Wow_," Jane says at the same time that Darcy sing-song's, "You are a neeerd!"

"That's certainly all over the place," Jane continues.

Loki shrugs. "There's nothing I really want to be, so I decided to just do some things that would help me in whatever I did. Science and engineering in building and technology jobs, computers in almost _every_ job, chemistry and physics/astronomy come in handy in your line of work if I want to go out and help you, and world geography and languages helps if I wanted to travel. I was tempted to do an art or theater class, but I decided I could just get Darcy to draw me something if the need persists, and my acting skills are good enough to get me through the day."

"Smart thinking," Jane says with a soft smile.

Darcy steals his glass of orange juice, to which he's used to, so he ignores it. "What about me? What are my classes? You never told me what you signed me up for."

"The same ones as me, naturally."

She nearly spits the juice out. "But—but—but you're taking advanced materials science and engineering techniques! I'm not a scientist! _You_ aren't even one, you're just smart!"

Loki smirks. "Relax, I'm kidding. I just gave you basic classes that will help with your unhealthy obsession with wanting to be a ninja."

"Yet I am still unable to fit into that Cat Woman suit you got me," she mutters.

"That's what you get for eating nothing but Wonder Bread and cranberry juice for a week."

"I'm just glad you and Jane finally hid it all."

"Yes, the carrots and V8 is doing you good. In any case, you have an art and design class since you're so into designing clothes and your 'super hero outfits', a dance class for undercover work and balance, sociology for human interaction and just all around learning about them, and American history because you're always reading random books about the presidents and exploration type things. You also have some classes with me: computer science so you can both figure out how to hack into things and so you understand what Jane is saying more often than not, dead and modern languages so you can communicate with people all around the world, world geography so you know where in the world you're going."

She smirks at him. "You know, Lo', I think I'm in love with you."

"I should hope not," he says, taking his juice back.

"No, I'm serious. There is nobody in the entire world who could sign me up for those classes for those reasons with a straight face."

Loki smirks back, pushing back from the table. "Come on, we've got to get going. Do you have the campus map I gave you?"

"Oh, Loki," Jane chides, "she's not _that_ dependant on you that you have to print a map out for her!" Jane chides.

"On the contrary," Loki says as he and Darcy swing their backpacks over their shoulders. "I had to sign her up for all of her classes because she didn't know how to navigate the website. She is _very_ dependant on me."

"Come along, dad," Darcy says with a wink. "You still need to drive us to school!"

Jane just rolls her eyes.

Upon parking as close to a building as they can, Darcy groans.

"What did you forget?" Loki asks instantly.

"No, it's not that," she says. "I was looking at the schedule you gave me. I was hoping I'd have art or something first, but we've got computer science and design."

"Yes, but you have art next while I have advanced materials science and engineering techniques. By the way, everything you'll need for your classes today is in your backpack. Jane and I went shopping without you."

"Good," she says, folding up her schedule and putting it into her jeans pocket. "I hate school shopping."

"I know you do." Loki looks out over the campus, taking it all in. trees that were probably planted by volunteer students line the sidewalks, and there are all sorts of things that the welding students probably put together. And—

Darcy is talking to him again, but Loki doesn't hear what she says. His eyes are fixed across the campus in a very high tech building, to where stand three, two of them that Loki is unable to tell if they're professors or students. Two men and one woman, the woman with short red hair and a very sex black dress and heels, and one of the men in a black suit holding about four million different books (the books make him look like a student, because professors usually don't carry that many things around at once). The only one that Loki can tell is a professor, though, is wearing dark sunglasses, holding a thick portfolio and a _gigantic_ thermos full of who knows what, and is in a very intricate suit that involves grays and plaids. He's cleanly shaven and the middle height of the tallest of the three.

"Dude, who are you looking at?" Darcy says, waving a hand in front of his face. "Which one? Because even for you, that lady is Happy-O-Tony _hot_. The guy holding all those books doesn't look your type, though, so…the professor who's 'too cool for school', maybe?"

Loki looks down at her with a condescending look. "You're almost better at picking assholes out than I am," he says. "Yes, one of those three. Come on, we're going to be late."

**XxX**

Computer science and design is taught by Professor Edwin Jarvis. He doesn't talk very much, but instead mostly just clicks away at the speed of light form his keyboard with whatever he's typing shining up on the white board on the wall in front of all the desks via projector. He explained right away that his love of silence is because of an accident that he had as a child that causes his voice to sound forced and somewhat robotic. Yes, he has had to use it once so far, but nobody said anything about it. Most college students aren't total assholes.

The class is about halfway through now, which is when the door opens quietly to reveal one of the bigger men that Loki has seen here so far. Broad shoulders, short blonde hair, blue eyes, and a face far too sweet and kind for a man his size.

"Jay!" he says, slipping inside of the room as as soon as Professor Jarvis pauses. "I'm so, so sorry for interrupting, but he's coming.

Jarvis gives an awkward sounding groan. Then his hands fly throw the air in what Loki is pretty sure is sign language.

"Yes," the blonde replies. "I'll try to slow him down as much as I—"

But he's cut off by the door bursting open, and in walks another man in the most dramatic…way…possible…

Loki's heart stops. It's the man he saw earlier, with the sunglasses and gigantic thermos. He's ditched the thermos, but the sunglasses are sitting on top of his head. He has brown eyes.

"Jaaay!" the man exclaims fervently, completely ignoring that both the blonde and Professor Jarvis are glaring daggers at him. "Jay, I need you. Well…I need a student. Happy left me. Have any of them made fun of you so I can steal them away?"

Jarvis's hands fly through sign language symbols in response, but the brown-eyed man (Jarvis's eyes are the palest of blue that Loki has ever seen, and they match his nearly white skin tone; literally, it's paler than Loki's, and Loki is _pale_) tries cutting him off.

"No, stop, you know I never actually went to that class, I have no idea what you're saying."

"It wasn't _for_ you, Tony," the blonde snaps. "He was talking to _me_."

Tony. That's so familiar… Good gods, he teaches a class. He teaches advanced materials science and engineering techniques. The one that Loki has next.

"Why would he be talking to _you_," Professor Stark says, "when _I'm_ here?"

"He only cleans your mess of a house, not obeys your every command!"

"Oh, you mean like Phil does for you?"

"Tony, so help me god, if you keep talking about that—"

"STOP," Jarvis says, somewhat forced. "Stop." He turns to the class and whips out his weird little portable keyboard that's sticking out of his belt buckle. Typing, his words up on the board read, _"Would anyone like to forgo the rest of their class to help Professor Stark with whatever it is he needs help with? If you don't—which I wouldn't—you're welcome to just sit silently and hope to dear god he just LEAVES. But whoever does, I will have whoever is sitting beside you give you a copy of whatever notes they have by the end of the class, and if you don't think they're inadequate enough I'll give you a very basic rundown myself when you return to our next class, or earlier if you choose to drop by."_

When he stops clicking away (without looking whatsoever at the keyboard; Loki would have it all memorized if he used it like that too), not a single person moves to volunteer.

So Loki will do it.

He raises his arm from the elbow up as lazily as possible so nobody knows how badly he really wants to do this.

"Loki, you are _not_ going to do that," Darcy hisses at him. "Just because he's the hottest professor we've seen all day doesn't mean that you should—"

"Oh _wow_, somebody is actually insane today!" Stark exclaims. "Great!"

Loki stands, moving to put his things into his backpack.

"Loki, you can't leave me _now_," Darcy hisses again. "I don't know where I'm going next.

Loki resists the urge to roll his eyes, pulling her schedule out of his backpack and setting it in front of her. "You have that art class next, and you have a map to help you get there. If anything goes worse than it usually does, text me." He gives her a condescending pat on the head before making his way over to the two professors and whoever the blonde is.

"Awesome!" Stark says brightly when Loki gets to them, and Loki does his best to ignore the weird looks that Jarvis and the blonde are giving him. "See, Steve?" Stark says, reaching his elbow up to rest it on the tall man's shoulder; if he was shorter than the woman, he's far shorter than Loki's five-foot-eleven. "I told you I don't always come off as an asshole during first impressions."

"Language, Tony," Steve says, rolling his eyes before turning to Jarvis. "Sorry, Jay. I was a little too late."

"It is al-right," Jarvis says out loud as the blonde (Steve, Loki gathers, which is ringing yet another bell; he's probably a professor as well, what with being friends with two other ones) walks out, follow by Stark, who's follower by Loki.

"You are _appalling_," Steve mutters to Stark, glaring down at him. He's at least six feet, probably more. Loki is just five-foot-eleven, and Stark is at least two inches shorter than him. "It's only the first day! Just because Happy had to head out halfway through the first class doesn't mean you just get to barge into other classrooms and borrow _their_ students."

"You always let me do it on other days."

"But it's the _first_ day."

"Which means I'll be coming to you next hour because I know that you won't say no to me."

"Tony…"

"You know you love me."

Steve rolls his eyes, stopping in front of a door that leads outside. "We all do."

"Against your better judgment, of course!" Stark says happily, continuing on down the hall.

"Obviously," the blonde mutters, letting the door close behind him.

"Right then!" Stark says cheerily, looking up at Loki. He _is_ a bit of an ass, but that's okay. "What your name, kid?"

It takes Loki a couple of seconds to answer him, because he's sort of just staring. Dark brown hair and a clean cut board, somewhat tanned skin, but nor from tanning…it's just his natural color. His dark brown eyes seem to be steaming up at me like hot chocolate with black licorice centers.

Good lord, he's being poetic. How nauseating.

"Loki," he says as soon as he's managed to get his tongue moving again.

"Lo-ki," he repeats, sounding out the two syllables. "Is this your first year?"

Loki nods. "Twenty-one year old freshman."

"Hmm. Who was the girl you were with?"

Loki catches his tone right away, and his stomach gives an unhappy flip. "My best friend. Darcy. She's twenty."

He laughs. "No, no, don't give me that tone, I don't want to ask her out. Just trying to make conversation. She's aaall yours."

There's no way that Loki could have held back the snort that escapes his lips. "Gods, no. best friend. Just a friend."

"Is that why she all but had a heart attack when you raised your hand?"

"Yes, because I'm the one that put her schedule together and I've got the map memorized. I was going to just give her all the same classes as me so she could just hold my hand the entire time, but I decided she'd just decide to fail right away most of the classes I'm taking."

"Yeah? Like what?"

He shrugs. "Science stuff. Physics, astrology, advanced materials, engineering techniques… All that jazz."

"Hey, that means you have a class with me!"

"Yeah?" Loki says, pretending he doesn't know it. "Which one?"

"Advanced materials science and engineering techniques!"

"O, of course! Professor Tony Stark. Nice to meet you."

He flashes a brilliant smile back. One of those that would make a lot of women faint. "Likewise. When do you have it?"

"The next class you could be teaching, actually."

He lights up like lightning, and this time the flip in my stomach is quite lovely. "Few words of advice. First, don't call me 'Professor Tony Stark'. I hate formalities. Tony is just fine—but _not_ Tone. That's reserved for people who like pissing me off. Second, swear a lot, because sometimes we do debates on the best technique for a certain design and I choose the winning side or individual solely on how many times and how well they say the word 'fuck'."

Loki can't help but smirk at that one a bit, because he swears a lot more when he gets really into something.

"Third, if you're going to answer phone calls in class, try to do it in the back corner of the room. It's usually quietest back there so you can actually hear whoever you're talking to. And fourth, Steve tells me that my tests are way too hard, which means they are. So, heads up."

"Sounds easy enough," Loki says with a nod, opening the door that leads outside that they walk to. "The harder the test, the better grade I get. I haven't gotten anything below an A-minus in…" He puffs out a breath in thought. "Ever."

Stark smirks, walking into the building. They had already passed through an open door to get outside, because they had to get to an entirely different building.

"You know, Loki," he says as they walk through the first floor hallways. "I think you and I are going to get along _great_."

And he pushes open a door to reveal the loudest, rowdiest college level classroom that Loki has ever seen, and he's seen quite a few considering that he did Running Start.

"Oh," Loki says, following him in. nobody even looks up. "First day here and they've already learned the ropes?"

"They're mostly Running Start kids," Stark says. "Also, I gave a speech about my Poster of Rules." He points to a large poster on the wall labeled _POSTER of RULES_. The first word is written in big rainbow sparkly letters, the third is in bisexual pride colors, and the second is in an awkward mix of black, white, and grey. And, underneath, is a number one written in shiny metallic gold. And the rest of the giant poster is completely blank.

"Oh," Loki says again, giving a ghost of a smile. "Is all the pride really necessary?"

Stark grins at him. "Out of the three years I've had that up there, you're the only one who's mentioned the color scheming. I knew I liked you the moment you gave your best friend the most condescending pat I have ever seen in my life on the top of her head. Anyway!" Loki follows him over as he walks briskly to a desk. "Yes, one of my best friends is gay, another is bisexual, and another is asexual. So, you know, one big happy family."

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "How many best friends do you _have_?"

He blinks up at him. "That wasn't the question I expected."

"Are you going to answer the one you got?"

He shrugs. "I have nine, plus a Banter Buddy and 2 people that hate me. Oh, but I guess I've got thirteen best friends, because some of those friends usually bring somebody else along…"

"Oh my," Loki says, wrinkling his nose up. He doesn't like people near enough for that. "I only have three."

"Psh, boring. The more the merrier, I say. You should come with us sometime! It'll be great. You can bring Darcy, too."

Loki blinks at him, honestly not sure what to say. Loki hasn't even know him for twenty minutes.

"Yup, I know that face," he says, handing me a dry erase pen. "No backing out. You're coming. Eight tonight at the Garpsy. It's a bar—and yes, you can still bring Darcy. I can get her in easily, and probably get her a few drinks, too."

For point-five seconds Loki doesn't say a word, but then he remembers all of the A-pluses in his speeches and debate classes, and the time that he taught Darcy how to lie through her teeth to Jane without having to just cave and try to bribe her with a Pop Tart.

So he smiles. "Sounds brilliant. I've never actually been out to drinks before since Darcy isn't legal yet. One of my three best friends would just grab us something and we'd camp out in the house."

Stark bursts into laughter. "Oh, then you are in for a _treat_. Anyway, I should probably start teaching again…" He sighs. "Would you be a dear and draw a hang man's noose on the board for me?"

Loki blinks at him. "Teaching to you consists of playing a game of Hang Man?"

"What are you, my supervisor? It's the first day! The only profs who actually teach anything on the first dary are Jay, Fury, and Phil—not even Steve!"

"Right, I only know two of those people. Steve is the blonde, right?"

"Yup! The big guy. Not as big as Thor, though."

Loki's knees give out, and he only keeps himself up by grabbing his desk that Stark's got at the front of the room.

"Whoa, whoa, are you alright?" Stark asks.

"Did you just say 'Thor'?" Loki chokes out.

"Uh, yes. He's one of my nine or thirteen best friends… Why?"

Loki's knees lock, and he draws a noose as best as he can. "I lied," he says without looking at Stark. "I can't come."

"Aw, come _on_! Don't tell me you know the guy! What'd he do, make fun of your hair?"

"No, of course I don't know. But I'm not going."

"Bad experience with the name, then?"

"Right."

"Good lord, you are so full of bullshit." He leans right in front of him on his drawing. "I bet you do know him. Huge guy with long flowing hair the color of sunshine?"

Loki glares at him. "With blue eyes as clear as the sky and a booming voice that somehow puts you to sleep but then wakes you right back up against because it never shuts up? Of course I know him. How many other Thor's are there in the world. I used to live here, and I can't let him know that I'm back."

Stark gives a sassy look. "Why?"

"It's a personal matter."

"Come on, I don't have anyone to tell!"

"Actually, you have nine or thirteen, plus a Banter Buddy and two people that hate you, whatever the hell that all's supposed to mean."

He rolls his eyes. "No, there's no _reason_ I have for telling any of them. Honestly, you're just a student. 'Hey, Steve, remember that tall kid that volunteered to help me in class? Well, turns out he's an escaped convict from Nigeria and Thor is an undercover cop trying to catch him!' So just tell me."

Loki's not sure if he should be mildly amused by that or not, so he sighs. "I don't want to."

"So? I'm your professor and I have this class next. You don't want to get a fail the first day, do you?"

Loki blinks at him with one of those "you did not just pull that card on me" looks before he pushes him out of the way to redraw the noose. "My parents took a road trip around the country the summer before my sophomore year of high school, and I stayed with Thor and his parents because they were good friends of my family and I didn't go on the trip. They didn't come back—_ever_—because they got into a car crash on the way. Darcy used to live in Mexico, where they crashed, and I lived with her and my other two best friends ever since. Now I, Darcy, and one of the others are back here in New York for college. He reminds me of my family, okay?"

When Loki glares back down at Stark instead of the white board, the professor looks like he honestly cares, but doesn't have a clue how to reply so he just keeps opening and closing his mouth a lot.

"Don't hurt yourself," Loki mutters, stepping back from the board. "What's the word or sentence or whatever so I can draw the lines out?"

"Wait, wait, did you say a car crash?"

"Yes. Must I repeat it?"

"No, mine died in one, too."

Loki narrows his eyes a little. "_Now_ who's full of bullshit?"

"I'm serious. Ask Steve."

"I don't even have a class with him. I'm not really into history…I'd just rather know where things are."

"Oh, I bet you have world geography then!"

"Yes, I have it today as well."

"You've got it with my Brucey-kins!"

It is appalling how many times Loki has just blinked at this man today.

"Bruce Banner," Tony says. "He's my Science Buddy; one of my nine or thirteen best friends. If it was up to him he'd be teaching some sort of physics, but I think he's better where he is. Anyways, the words are just the name of the class. No one in here will ever guess it because they're all idiots. Also I try to keep the answers with things that have to do with my class so if anybody walks in I can justify why work is boring."

Loki nods, drawing out the lines. "Did you really need a personal assistant to help you write on the board?"

"Ugh, yes, I hate writing things down. I'm better with drawing because I make so many diagrams, and most of the time I just type shit out like Jay."

"Professor Jarvis?"

"Bingo."

That's when Loki realizes how close they're actually standing, so he steps away a bit. "Ready to make fun of these idiots why they try to guess this or what?"

"I knew I liked you, Lo'," he says, giving me a smile. "You're fun. Don't have very many friends, but that's okay. I have plenty to go around!"

Loki sighs, not sure if he should take that as a compliment. "I just…I really don't want to go tonight. Not if Thor's going to be there."

Tony sighs, staring to lean against the board again, but I quick grab him by the shoulders and swing him over so that he leans against the desk instead so he won't erase anything with his back.

"You really are him," he mutters.

"Excuse me?" Loki asks.

"He's talked about you before. Hardly ever. Just once or twice. Loki Laufeyson, an old friend. That's as far as he ever got. An old friend. Then he would always go off to be alone or something." He reaches up and scratches his cheek, giving a look that suggests he really doesn't care, but Loki is good at seeing through people, and yeah, Thor is one of his best friends, so of course he cares. "What happened between you guys that he can't talk about? He doesn't even tell Natasha—who you also don't know—and they've lived together since…I don't know, a long time." When he sees the look on Loki's face he backpedals like it's an art form. "Oh no, no, not _together_. Just as friends. Geez, was he an old boyfriend or something?"

Loki rolls his eyes, groans, and sighs all at once. "We weren't even sophomores yet. It didn't amount to anything."

"Six years later and he still can't talk about it? I'm pretty sure it amounts to _something_."

Loki averts his eyes from him. "Are we going to play this game or not?"

"Not until you tell me what happened."

"There's nothing to tell! I was staying at his place while my parents were gone and flew down to New Mexico when I found out they died."

"But you didn't go back?"

"No. My parents _died_. I was starting over, and that requires people I haven't slept with before."

Tony's eyes widen a fraction. "Oh-ho-_ho_! Fifteen? Even I didn't start till I was seventeen, and look at me now! King of…well, all that jazz. Of course it was only seventeen because I was such a nerd… Can you picture me in glasses with zits all over the place?"

"Actually, no, I can't."

"Good, because I had neither. Too rich for that. But I was a nerd, which meant no time for girls or guys or even pets. But anyway! About leaving and not going back and all that. Is that why he's so…sore about the whole thing?"

Loki shrugs. "How should I know? I haven't talked to him since I left."

"Good gods, no wonder he's so uptight! You didn't call him _once_?"

"I changed my number as soon as I could."

"Oh wow, you really meant starting over. Did he ever leave you any messages?"

"Uh, yeah, about a thousand. I never listened to them. And I never read his text messages. I talked to his parents twice before I changed my number, though, first to tell them about what happened to my parents and second to tell them that I wasn't coming back."

"He's going to have a heart attack when he finds out that you're back."

Loki almost has a heart attack right then. "No! No, he can't know that I'm back! He'll do all sorts of things. He'll give me one of those stupid bear hugs and ask me why I never called when I don't have much of an answer and then maybe he'll start crying and _no_ I am not good with tears, okay? So just…no."

"He's going to be there tonight."

"Precisely why I'm not going."

"Pleeeease? He works as the gym teacher at the high school next door and is over _all the time_. You're going to run into him eventually! Why not just get it over with now?"

I blink down at him. "I'll think about it. For now, let's get this game of Hang Man over with, okay? I still want to make fun of people."

**XxX**

So, on Monday's and Wednesday's, Loki has class with Stark, Jarvis, and world geography with Bruce Banner (AKA Tony's Brucey-kins). Tuesday's and Thursday's he'll have dead and modern languages with Natasha Romanova, chemistry with Clint Barton, and physics/astronomy with Charles Xavier. I have Friday's off, and so does Darcy.

Loki knows that he doesn't want to learn the story why Stark calls Banner his "Brucey-kins", but he can at least understand it. Banner is a little older than Stark's age of twenty-eight, and just _barely_ shorter than him. He had a thicker upper body, and because of his long-sleeve purple button-up Loki couldn't tell if it was muscle or simply fat. But he honestly looks…well, adorable. Salt and pepper hair with his arms always held in a way that he's almost hugging himself, he's not a huge fan of eye contact, his handwriting is small, and he just…he _looks_ cute. He looks like the type of guy that would just cuddle up with people all of the time. Not all the best qualities for a professor, but even though he wasn't one of the ones that Tony names off who actually teaches on the first day, Loki learned a few things anyway. They all played a sort of Around the World game in which he would ask where a place was and the students would have to give a continent. He did easier ones at first, like American states and whatnot, but then he moved to harder things like Nigeria and Scandinavia and Guatemala and the like.

Jane smiles warmly at Loki and Darcy as they walk into the kitchen after classes. "How was your first day?" she asks.

"Fun," they say in unison."

"Oh, that's not an answer! What _happened_?"

"Loki met someone," Darcy blabs before he can stop her.

"Ooh, tell me all about him!" Jane squeals, pulling Loki over to the couch. He glares at Darcy as she takes a seat on the floor in front of us."

"He's the advanced materials and engineering techniques professor," he says. Lord, that class is really a mouthful. It's a good thing he's not friends with many people, or that would be a nightmare. _Yes I'm going out to drinks with the advanced materials and engineering professor tonight, what about you?_ "His name is Tony Stark and he's…sort of an asshole. That's about all I know so far. Oh, and his parents died in a car accident."

Jane nods. "Did you tell him about yours?"

"I didn't know how else to impress him but to just tell him."

"Liar," Darcy says. "You told me it was because he threatened you."

"That was before. Shut up."

"How old is he?" Jane asks.

"He's…older."

"Forty?"

"Younger."

"Thirty?"

"Younger."

"Twenty?"

"Older."

"Twenty-five?"

"Little more."

"Twenty-eight."

"Right."

"Oh, that's not too bad," Jane says, flitting her wrist at him. "Did you make any moves on him?"

Loki sighs. "Uh, no."

"Oh, shut _up_!" Darcy says, punching his leg. "Jane, Jane, he got asked out for drinks with him and his entire crew, okay? Which is, like, nine or thirteen plus three or…I don't even know, but a lot. They all go out to get drinks together a lot. I'm not sure how it works, to be honest."

Jane lights up as Loki glares down at Darcy again. "That's _great_, Loki!" she says sweetly. "That's certainly a lot of people for you to hang out with… Do you know who's going to be there?"

I cringe. "Um, I know three of the professors probably will be because they're three of his best friends—he has nine or thirteen, just go with it. And…and one more person, which is why I've decided not to go."

Jane frowns. "Who?" Jane asks.

Loki sighs before letting it stream out so he can just get it over with. "I don't know how they met and I really don't want to but apparently Thor is the gym teacher at the high school beside the college and um he's one of Tony's best friends too so I'm going to see my ex-boyfriend for the first time in six years so I decided that I'm not actually going."

Loki already told Darcy, so she just wraps her arms around Loki's legs in a hug, and Jane's jaw drops a fraction. "Thor is going to be there," she asks quietly.

Loki nods. "Why is why I'm not going," he repeats for the third time.

"No! No, this is perfect! Loki, you're going to run into him eventually if you've got an eye for one of his friends, right? So you should just get it over with now! That way it will all be over with and you can go back to getting with your professor."

Loki sighs again. "Both Tony and Darcy said the same thing, but it's not that simple! Thor isn't the type of person to just…let things go. He has to have explanations for everything in absolute detail, and he's either going to want me back or he's going to try and murder me in my sleep. When Thor knows I'm back, there will be _no_ getting with Tony. My entire time will be spent fending _him_ off from whatever it is he decides he's going to do to me."

Jane and Darcy sigh together. "Are you sure?" Jane asks. "Because I've actually talked to him a couple of times, and he doesn't seem like that type of person."

My face goes whiter than it usually is. "You've talked to him before?"

She gives a sheepish nod. "Before you changed your number, you used to just throw your phone out into the yard whenever the call was from him or his parents. Sometimes I would go out there and answer it for you."

"And you've never _told_ me?"

"Of course not. You would wring my neck. The point is, even when he sounds frantic or he's about to cry, he seems too nice to do that. And I…okay, you're going to kill me, so I'm not going to ask you not to. I stole his number from your phone a couple of years ago so I could call him and tell him whenever something involving you went wrong."

Loki is torn between pulling her hair out and fainting, so he just curls into a ball on the couch and tries not to growl like an animal. "No offence, Jane, because you're the nicest person I've ever known, but fuck you. Because…oh my gods, you called him all those times that I was in the hospital?"

"Every time."

Loki groans, because he's been in the hospital…well, a lot. He used to cut himself back in his sophomore year because he was going through so much shit (and he can admit how pathetic it was now, but at the time he thought he could justify it; whatever, teenage tears, parents dead, Loki was a dick and had nothing to do), and twice Loki…well, he cut too deep, and he honestly would have died if they hadn't gotten him to the hospital in time. He's also broken his wrist and arm from skateboarding, his leg from snowboarding, and his nose in a fight at school for being gay. He could probably define his life as one big trip to the hospital, actually.

Erik and Jane even took him to a mental ward, once; not to stay, but just for a really strong prescription of a horrible tasting pill he forced himself to take so he'd stop doing…well, a lot of things. He would talk in his sleep, and he would do everything from turn off the electricity for the house from the panel outside to trying to steal from jewelry stores. He doesn't remember much of it, though…he was just told about it. Basically, the only thing he remembers about his sophomore year was when he got kicked out of a school for the second time, because it was towards the end of the year and he was getting back to normal by then. He also got a lot of Clint-minuses in his classes, but he doesn't count those in his "I've never gotten anything lower than an A-minus" because he doesn't even remember the year. He wasn't about to explain that to Stark, though…

His junior and senior years were pretty normal, but his senior year was when he found out that he's allergic to lavender. But, other than that, he was normal by then. Or as normal as a gay kid from New York could be, anyway.

"Whatever," he says at length, standing up. "It doesn't matter. I'm not going tonight."

"But you should," Darcy and Jane say together.

"But I won't."

"I'll do your laundry for a month!"

I snort. "You can't even do your _own_ laundry."

She purses his lips. "That's true. How about I do anything and everything involving your turns to do the dishes for the next two weeks? I'm good at that."

Loki glares down at her, because she knows that's going to work. He fucking hates doing the dishes. "Fine," I grind out. "Two weeks, and _no_ drinking tonight even if one of them volunteers to get you something."

"Psh, you know I don't drink," she says. "Nasty stuff." She's being completely starcastic. She loves drinking. "I'll just bring a package of Pop Tarts."

"Fine."


	2. Part I, Chapter II

**Part I, Chapter II: The First Night**

At eight that night, Loki has called Stark (the professor gave him his number at the end of the class Loki "TA'd" for in case he changed his mind) to tell him that he and Darcy are coming, and now they're sitting in Loki's car in the parking lot of the Garpsy, directions from Google Maps stuffed into my back pocket since Tony's directions consisted of a lot of "um's" and that just messed it all up. Loki also found that "Garpsy" is German for gypsy, so the bar is basically called "the gypsy".

And now Loki is having second thoughts. Maybe Darcy doing his turn with the dishes for two weeks isn't work it… It's just some guy, right? And he _is_ an asshole…

"I don't think I can go through with this," Loki mutters for the umpteenth time.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," she says, pulling him out of the driver's seat of the car. "So what if you got invited to the super hot male professor to drinks with a bunch of other professors and teachers and one of them happens to be your ex-boyfriend that you haven't spoken to in six years. Maybe it'll just give you a jump forward in all of your classes! At least you can actually drink with them."

He rolls his eyes as he locks the car behind them. "You've decided not to take advantage of Tony and his getting you drinks, then?"

"Yup."

"Good. You're birthday's just in a few months, and we'll have a big drinking celebration then."

"Yeah, okay. Give me the keys."

Loki frowns. "Why?"

"So you can't run away in the middle of this whole thing!"

He slams his hand over the pocket that the keys are in. "No way. I'm keeping them."

"Don't make me wrestle you to the ground. You know I will."

Loki sighs, because yeah, she will. So he hands over the keys to her before they make their way over to the front door.

"Hey, there they are!" a voice exclaims, and Loki and Darcy turn to see Tony with Steve (who Darcy tells Loki is Professor Steve Rogers; she didn't have a class with him today, but he apparently is taking an art class at the same time as she is) and Miss Natasha Romanova. As soon as Tony points them out, though, Steve slips passed them and into the bar without even saying hi. "Didn't I tell you they'd come?" he says to Romanova. "Look at that face. Does he look like he'd lie to me?" He sets his elbow on my shoulder, and I stare Romanova down as she scrutinizes me.

"Yes," she says at length. "He does."

Tony frowns, looking up at me. "She's always right, you know."

Loki shrugs. "I am rather good at it."

"Hell yes he is," Darcy scoffs. "Get's whatever he wants, too. The amount of speeding tickets he's gotten out of is appalling."

Tony smirks. "Like I said, we'll get along great. Come on, nearly everybody else is waiting inside. A couple people are late and some of them aren't coming."

He leads Loki, Darcy, and Romanova into the bar and winds them back to a _large_ table in the back of the room where sit ten people. Romanova slips into the booth as well, making eleven, and miraculously there's still enough room for nearly double the amount of people already sitting there. Which is a good thing, really, if Tony has nine or thirteen best friends plus a Banter Buddy and two people that hate him. That there is sixteen people, plus him, and now Loki and Darcy for tonight. So that's…nineteen? Good lord, he really meant it when he said the more the merrier. For Loki, it's as little as possible. He hasn't been out to dinner with this many people since Thor's eighth birthday party. And speaking of Thor, the blonde isn't here yet. He must be one of the people that are arriving later.

"The fun has arrived!" Tony says loudly, throwing his arms out. "And I brought more friends!"

"You don't _have_ friends, Stark," the most foreboding of them says. He's big, he's black, and he has an eye patch. "You have people that buy you drinks."

"On the contrary," Tony says, leaning against the table. "It is I who is always paying the bill since we just get one so we don't confuse the employees before you all just pay me back, thank you very much. Anyway." He stands back up straight. "I'd like you all to meet my new friend and his best friend that I haven't really met yet, Loki and Darcy."

They all give very different greetings. Warm ones, quiet ones, polite ones, and in the case of the black man with an eye patch, and the woman sitting beside him, nothing at all.

"And, you two," he says to Loki and Darcy, "these are my best friends, Banter Buddy, and the two people that hate me. We'd usually have Happy first, followed by Pepper, who is both his wife and my not-mother. Happy is my assistant and Pepper is my…uh…supervisor. Then we'd have Thor, but he's not here yet. So right now we just have Professor Natasha Romanova, who teaches dead and modern languages. I'd be careful around her, she's…"

He trails off as Natasha gives him an eye that means nothing to Loki but probably years worth of "I'm going to punch you in the face" to Tony.

"Yeah, watch out for her. She'll kick your ass in a fight, too. Anyway, next is Clint Barton, who teaches chemistry. Careful in his class too, if you've got it; sometime he makes up lessons just so people blow things up."

Barton smirks. He's wearing pitch dark sunglasses and looks like one of those people who _would_ blow things up.

"Then there's my Brucey-kins! He teaches world geography, which I know you both have already had. He's been to every continent at least eighty individual times and he's got every capital and major city in the world completely memorized."

Banner gives a polite dip of his head, though he totally doesn't make eye contact. Loki resists the urge to ask about his nickname.

"Then there's Steve Rogers, who teaches American history, which I know you don't have."

"And he's got an art class with me!" Darcy says cheerily. "And I also have one of his classes tomorrow."

Rogers blushes. "Yeah, hi."

"Sorry about earlier," she says. "It was—"

"Wait," Loki interrupts. "What did you do _now_?"

She rolls her eyes. "You know, sometimes I'm not actually one big mess. But yes, I was earlier. I hit on him, but I got very awkwardly turned down considering that _you_"—she points to a woman with dark brown hair (with blonde roots growing in) and red lipstick—"are his wife." She giggles, looking back at Steve. "I didn't know it was possible for someone to blush more than Loki does sometimes.

While Steve's apparent girlfriend just laughs and pats Steve on the shoulder, Loki groans.

"I like you _too_!" Tony says, throwing his arms open and enveloping her into a hug. "Too bad you don't have a class with me. Anyone who makes Steve blush is a friend of mine." He lets go of her and turns back to the table. "Anyway, beside Steve there is his wife Peggy. She's a senior at the college, though she's old enough to have graduated twice because she spent the first of her years after high school in the military. So don't get on her bad side, either. She usually doesn't like beating people up, but I tend to push the limit too far most of the time."

Peggy rolls her eyes, leaning up to whisper something into Steve's ear while her eyes are locked with Loki's. He just stares her down until she looks away, though. Loki's good at that.

"After Peggy there is Sharon Carter, Peggy's cousin, and also a senior. She never got into the military, but she just started later because she wanted to wait for Peg. After her is James Rhodes, who still _is_ in the military, but he's on leave for a few months. He doesn't actually go to college, but because we're all cool and Pepper says we can, he just sits in on whatever of our classes he wants for a small fee instead of the whole tuition.

"And _next_ is Phil Coulson, who happens to me my Banter Buddy!"

The man scoffs. "You really still call me that?"

"I've always called you that."

"You used to call me Agent."

"Only because you're part-robot and part-coffee."

"And all-caffeine. Is this the one you—"

"Fft," Tony says, slicing his hand through the air in a weird sort of noise to shut them up. "Banter over. Phil teaches, like, eight million classes and none of us have a clue how he does it. Business management, accounting, and…well, more. Next is Edwin Jarvis, who both of you had as your first class today, so you know that he teaches computer science and design."

"He's cute too," Darcy says. Loki knows it was meant to be just for his years, but Darcy's never been one for…whispering.

"Riiiight…." Tony says, scratching the back of his head. "Hey, Lo'," he says, pushing up on his toes to get his mouth beside my ear. "Remember the asexual friend I told you about?"

Loki's eyes widen, and he links his arm with Darcy's before leaning down to whisper into her ear: "How about you _stop_ hitting on people in this group, yeah? Because, um, you're not their type."

She catches his tone immediately, knowing that he'll explain more intently when they're alone.

"Right, next!" Tony says in a less awkward tone. "It's usually Steve's best friend, Bucky Barnes, but he's doing who knows what for the night. So the one who's actually next is Maria Hill, who is the college librarian. She'll kick your ass, too."

Loki nods, and Darcy whispers (actually quiet enough for just him this time), "I wouldn't put it past her."

"And after 'Ria is Nicholas Fury, but we just call him Nick. Well, the others do…he and 'Ria are the two that hate me, so I just call him Fury so he doesn't hurt me when I'm not looking."

Fury glares up at him with his one eye. "Get on with it, Stark. I want my drinks."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Fury teaches sociology, which is really just a laugh considering that he cusses more than I do and just all around hates everybody but 'Ria."

Those two are, appropriately, the two that hadn't given any sort of greeting whatsoever when all of the others did.

"Right, we're done!" Tony says, clasping his hands together. "So there will be no more calling them by their last names unless you're in their classrooms! Except Jay. He doesn't like his first name, and none of us do either."

"Hey, Nat," the man called Rhodey says to her. "What's taking Thor so long?"

Loki cringes, and Tony totally notices. "Drink?" he asks.

Loki nods, turning to Darcy. "Will you be alright by yourself here?"

Before she can answer, Natasha does: "'Course she will. Come on, sit by me. We can talk about boys or something."

Loki notices Clint's cheek gain the tiniest of blush, for whatever reason, and Darcy lights up like a firefly and slides in to sit beside her.

So Loki just smiles at her before walking off with Tony, telling himself not to look lover than his back as he walks behind him and totally doing so anyway.

And of course Tony catches him.

"You were totally just staring at my ass."

"No I wasn't," Loki says. He reaches behind him and pulls out a napkin that's not really form his back pocket, but from Loki's own sleeve that he had previously stuffed up for such events as these. "You had this sticking out of your back pocket. So yes, I was looking at your ass. No, it was not the object of my fascination."

Tony smirks. "Sure it wasn't." He orders a shot and Loki gets a vodka martini. Something he can drink a glass of and still drive home just fine.

"Can I tell you something?" Tony asks.

"If you'd like," Loki replies.

"I saw you push that napkin up your sleeve earlier. I know that you were indeed staring at my ass."

Loki literally has nothing to say to that, so he just turns to walk back to the table.

"If it makes you feel any better," he says from behind him, "yours is pretty nice too."

He stops, turning back around to face him. "Who are all of your pride friends, anyway?" he asks, sitting down beside him again.

"Quite a few of them for what most people are friends with. Jay is asexual, Sharon is lesbian, I have no idea what the fuck Fury is, Clint and I are bisexual, and Thor is confusing."

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "Oh?" he asks.

"Oh yes, but the others are not the point. The point is that _you_ are very obviously gay, and I hate sleeping alone." He winks before walking off, his glass emptied and just sitting there at the counter, to go back to the booth. A waitress is just going away on roller skates, so they must all just be ordering from there instead of the counter. So Loki follows him, a grin on his face and his drink all but forgotten at the counter.

It's about ten minutes later that Thor shows up. After Loki and Darcy are seemingly part of the family, where she's still by Natasha and Loki is just sitting on the edge beside her, and Tony had literally crawled _under_ the table so he could squeeze in between Steve and Bruce.

"Pep!" Tony exclaims. "I didn't know you'd be here tonight!"

"Yup, I'm here!" a redheaded woman replies with a smile. "Sorry we're late, though. It took for_ever_ to get back from dropping Happy off at the airport, then I realized I was already late by the time I remembered I was supposed to be picking up Thor."

"The Hiccup has broken down again," booms a voice, and though Loki can't see him, he _knows_, and he covers his face with his hands. And…whatever the Hiccup is, Loki doesn't know. "But he should be well and alive by—Lady Darcy! Is that…is that you?"

"Heyuh, Thor!" Darcy exclaims. "We've been waiting for you all night!"

"I was not told in advance that you would be attending this evening with us! Is he…is he with you?"

"'Course he is! We haven't been apart since we took him in."

There's a long, deafening silence, so Loki cracks his fingers just a little to see that, yes, Thor is looking right at him. Everybody else, though, is just giving them confused looks. Except Tony. Tony just looks like he wants to sink into a hole or something.

Loki sighs, dropping his hands to his lap. "Hello, Thor," he says quietly.

"Loki?" he says even quieter. "Is that you?"

The entire table is holding its breath.

"Of course it's me you thundering twit," Loki snaps. "Do I look like I could be anybody else?"

Loki is suddenly yanked out of the booth and lifted into one of Thor's signature bear hugs. The instant the he's set down, though, he shoves away. "No, fuck you." He wants to say more, but he just stops off, because he's not going to get into an argument with his ex-boyfriend in front of all his professors and then some.

Thor follows him, like he knew he would, and they just end up sitting down at the bar counter.

"It is truly you," Thor says, reaching up to tuck some of Loki's hear behind his hear.

Loki slaps his hand away. "Don't touch me."

He frowns. "You like it when I touch you."

"No, that was before I left. Now I don't."

They sit in silence for a moment. Loki glares at him and knows him well enough to know that Thor is debating with himself whether or not he should cry or if he should hug me again. He does neither. "Why did you not come back?" he asks.

"Because of the memories," Loki hisses. "All of the moments of our families roasting hot dogs or going to the lake or all of the times I stayed over at your house and slept in your bed and your parents just thought that I got cold during the night."

That's when Thor decides to give him a hug, so Loki end sup in an awkward half-standing/half-straddling him position.

"I'm going to hit you," he growls.

"I missed you very much, Loki," the blonde says, lifting him up and putting him back on the bar stool. "Are you going to stay? You have to stay. It has been so long. I will not survive again if you leave."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Don't be such a drama queen, Thor." He sets a hand on Loki's shoulder, but he just pushes it off. "I'm going back to New Mexico with Darcy and Jarvis as the college year is over. You're not going to keep me here."

"But I need you here, with me…"

"You cannot _possibly_ have waited for me after all this time."

"I did not."

"Precisely. You can do it again."

"Loki, please, I lo—"

Loki slams a hand over his mouth. "Finish that sentence and I'll skin you alive." He drops his hand and starts to walk back over to the table to get Darcy and leave, but Thor grabs his wrist.

"I love you."

Loki spins around and all but snarls at him: "Go to hell."

"What did I ever do to you, Loki, that you hate me so much?"

Loki yanks his arm so forcefully form Thor's grip that he hurts himself a bit. He turns away from him, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "Because you didn't come after me." He walks out of the bar without another word.

He's alone for a few minutes, just leaning against his car. He can't actually go anywhere since Darcy has the keys. That's when Tony shows up, though, leaning beside him.

"Want to come to my place tonight?"

Loki looks down at him, appalled that he would ask that after the "fight" that he and Thor just had. But Tony just shrugs at him, looking down at the concrete.

"It'll be out little secret," he says. "Well…secret might be the wrong word. I assume you'll tell Darcy, and I'll end up telling Steve just because I tell him everything and he'll tell Peggy who'll tell Sharon who'll tell Bucky. And Natasha is just going to _know_, so she'll tell Clint who'll tell Bruce. And then Jay is just going to know too, so he'll tell Phil who'll tell Fury who'll tell Maria who'll get it back to Bucky. Oh and I'll have to tell Pepper too because I promised her I'd tell her whenever I slept with somebody that she's met before, and she'll tell Happy who'll tell Rhodey who'll get it back to Bucky _again_. So basically every single person is going to know except Thor."

Loki snorts. "Well, word certainly travels fast within your group. You and your friends must not really be into keeping secrets."

He laughs. "No, we all just sort of know everything about each other. The only reason it won't get to Thor is because he'd be told by Natasha, but she'll know not to say anything about it to him. And Pepper would probably tell him too, but she knows that Natasha would, and if she thought that Natasha wouldn't she still wouldn't tell him because I'd tell her not to."

Loki sighs. "You know what?" I say, looking down at him. "Fuck it. Thor and I have been over for six years, and I'm not going to let him hold me back. Did you carpool with Steve or…?"

He chuckles. "I'm glad you just assume that I did, because I and nearly every single one of us does ride with him on Friday nights because most of us get too drunk to drive. He's got one of those big ass vans; you know, the ones that hold eight million people and then some? Well, actually it's Phil's, but Steve's always the one that drives it to these things. So we just ride with him on the weekends because we have nothing better to do and we've all got the money for it."

"As teachers? How on earth do you manage that?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised how many of us have little jobs on the side…"

I wrinkle my nose up. "Isn't teaching a full-time job? How could you possibly have time for that?"

"It's…really confusing."

"Tell me on the way to your place?"

He grins and nods. "You know, I'd peg you as a pitching kind of guy," he says, wrapping an arm around Loki's waist to drag him over to wherever his car is, "but there is _no_ way that Thor would let you do that."

Loki breathes a laugh, draping an arm around his shoulder. "No, not at all. Of all the three times we slept together, he definitely topped every time. I think I liked it better, though… I don't know."

"Oh good. I'm better at pitching. Was he any good?"

Loki snorts. "Well, from anything that I've read or heard of, yeah, for a freshman he was really good. But I've never had anything to compare it to, so I'll get back to you with a real answer, yeah?"

He nods. "Sounds good to me."

A few more steps and we're at his car, which Loki blinks down at for a very long time.

"What?" he says, walking over to the driver's side.

"You have an Audi R8?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Wow," Loki says, opening the passenger door once it's unlocked. "I want to hear about _your_ side job _first_."

Once they're settled inside and he's speeding out of the lot far too fast, he begins: "I own Stane Industries. It used to be called Stark Industries because my father started it, but when he died his best friend Obadiah Stane took over and changed the name. Then of course he died and I haven't cared enough to change it back. It's more of a secret company because it makes weapons for the army and government and yadda, yadda blah. Anyway, I own a multi-billion dollar company."

I snort. "_And_ you have a teaching job?"

"Well, I just own it. I made Pepper the CEO _years_ ago. See, she's not actually my supervisor…she just might as well be because she took the place of my parental figure even before my parents were dead. So that's what she does! It's not a side job, but anyone who works for me is doing more than they would with most companies anyway. And Happy…well, he does a lot of things. Helps me out with my classes, substitutes for other classes, and he's a chauffer for a lot of the board members of my company. Right now he's flying out of the state to go see his mother, though, because she's on her death bed. His father died a long time ago.

"Maria owns this place called SHIELD Books, and it's mostly just a cozy little place. SHIELD doesn't stand for anything as an acronym, but as a sort of poem: _Soft cover. Hard cover. Into worlds unseen. Every corner. Lily scented. Don't you want to read?_ It's small enough to only need one employee for most of the day, and Bucky takes that job very nicely. She goes over there after her shift at the college library from seven in the morning to two in the afternoon, and then that shop closes up at about seven-thirty after it opens at eight.

"Jarvis owns a computer security system and anti-virus thingy, but that's about all I know about it… I'm not really into computers. I just like building shit. Anyway, he shares an apartment with Phil, who house sits for people. It's really the only side job that he can have since he teaches so many classes, but you don't actually have to be at a house _all the time_ to house sit. You just stay over there for the night and make sure everything stays clean and the plants get watered and sometimes to feed the animals.

"And _Fury_. Good lord, I'm pretty sure he owns every single police station in the entire state. I don't know how, but he manages. _And_ he owns some fancy ass restaurant I don't know the name of! I'm sure I've eaten there before because it's a four-star place and I really like expensive steak. But he wouldn't tell me if I had even if I asked, because he doesn't really tell me anything, considering that he hates me. And Peggy…well, not only is she an emergency policewoman, but every summer she goes back into the military to train the sorry asses of a bunch of men and other women. And, now that this is her senior year, she might start doing it longer. Bad news for Steve, but she already said she's never actually going to go into the wars again. She is one badass chick.

"I've never once seen or even heard of Bruce, Natasha, or Clint having any sort of sleep. Bruce is a scientist, mostly with radiation-type things and…well, stuff that I _don't_ do. Natasha teaches a night class for self defense on weekdays that she starts at about eleven and ends only a couple of hours before she comes in to work here, and Clint is the same thing except it's for weapons defense and offense. Bruce falls asleep between periods sometimes, but Natasha and Clint…I honestly have no idea how they do it or even why. If owning a company didn't mean I could just skip out of pretty much everything I'd just have this one job as a professor, because wow.

"Thor does a fitness training class for some of the high school kids from three to seven—two classes that are exactly two hours each, so he gets no break whatsoever; not that he needs it—that's separate from both the high school and the college. And sometimes he does it for like six hours on Sunday's, but Saturday's he usually sticks to himself. Steve doesn't have a second job because he just does stupid volunteer work, but he really should since he's also taking an art class, and the college isn't exactly _cheap_. Rhodey, though, really is in the military and is just here because he's on leave for a couple of months. Well…now it's just a couple more weeks, but whatever. And…yeah. That's what we all do."

Loki gives a very disbelieving snort. "Good _lord_. You're all in_sane_. I don't even want to _know_ how any of you find time to grade tests and papers."

He chuckles. "I know, right? It's pretty hectic, but we're all used to it."

"How did you all meet each other, anyway?"

Tony groans. "Oh gods, more confusing stuff!"

"How far away are we from wherever you live?"

"Uh, I own a mansion on the edge of town that also houses Pepper and Happy, but Pepper will be staying over at Bruce's tonight because he needs some help with who knows what. And I do mean in different beds, thank you. She's married to Happy. Anyway! We still have, like, ten more minutes, and then it's going to take a bit to get all the way up to my bedroom. So I can still explain it."

"Then you should. I'm very curious as to how you met Thor."

"That's not as confusing as most of it, actually. Anyway, all of me, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Jarvis, Phil, Fury, and Maria and I work at the college, so we sort of _had_ to know each other. That gets rid of nine of us. My parents were friends with Pepper's parents, so she and I have been friends since the dawn of time, so that's how our group got her. Next came Bucky, who we got because of Steve. They've been best friends since…well, whenever they met, anyway. They were older than five but younger than ten.

"Next came Happy, who Pepper brought along because she was going to a convention and he happened to be the driver of the limousine she ordered to get to it with a bunch of the company reps, and because she sort of hates the whole important people thing she just started talking to him through the window. She asked him if he'd come in with her and the others so he'd be able to drive them all home, and at the end of it he asked her out on a date and they've been together ever since."

He says it with just the tiniest hint of malice, and Loki just can't help but ask: "I take it you used to date her?"

He gives a little groan/sigh thing. "Yeah, for about a year, about five years before I even started teaching. But, being me, I'm pretty much the worst at real relationships, so it went downhill from the moment it started. It actually ended pretty well, honestly, but hey, you know."

Loki nods. "I might. Who came in next?"

"Peggy! We got her thanks to Fury and Maria because she signed up for the emergency policewoman thing. Both Fury and Maria happened to be there for who knows what reason, but it was the very station that Peggy happened to be at that night, and she had just caught two of these really…well, bad guys, convicts, whatever you want to call them. I've heard the story about eight million times. She stormed in, only one of the men in handcuffs because her other pair was dropped into the lake that she was by. She shoved the guy with the cuffs into the hands of another man who was there while the second man was trying to escape, but she did…well, a lot of things. He got out of her grip since it was only with one hand, but when he tried to jump at her she kicked him so hard in the stomach that it knocked the wind out of him. Then she spun him around, smashed him down on the ground, slammed her knee in the middle of back and grabbed the cuffs that were being handed to her and slammed them onto his wrists. Maria and Fury invited her over to drinks right away."

"Didn't you say that Fury hates everybody but Maria, though?"

"Well, he _used_ to like her. I mean, not _like_ her, but—"

"I get it, Tony."

"Right, right. He liked her until she started _liking_ Steve. And once they started dating Maria didn't much care for her either. Well, not entirely…they just tend to hate everybody. It's nothing personal. Oh, look, we're here!"

Loki's jaw drops. Mansion in_deed_.

"It's rude to stare," Tony chuckles, pulling into a gigantic garage. But his jaw just stays open as Tony leads him through the house. It's not until they've ended up in his bedroom that Loki remembers he hasn't told him how they got Thor or Sharon in their group yet. But the room's just so…nice. Lots of reds and gold's, which suits him very nicely. A king sized bed and a walk in closet and a gigantic bathroom and a flat screen TV and good lord is that a statue in the corner?

"You're still staring," Tony laughs.

"Good _lord_," Loki says, looking over at him. "Do you honestly need a place so big with so much stuff?"

He shrugs. "It gives me something to do."

"Do? What do you mean by that—buying it all?"

"Somewhat. But I don't like it when things are empty, you know? So I do get to go around buying things. I like it when things match and—gods, Lo', don't think too hard about it, okay? It was just something to say!"

Loki snorts, crossing his arms. "Alright, alright, whatever. Tell me how you got Thor and Sharon."

He nods, walking into his closet. "Sharon came next," he calls, "simply because she's Peggy's cousin and they live together. Peggy just brought her along to drinks some time and she's been with us ever since.

"And _then_ Thor came in, waay at the end! He was brought along by Peggy and Natasha. Peggy's car was in the shop, so Natasha was driving her over to the high school. She lost her cell phone, and who _knows_ how it ended up at the high school across from the college property, but Thor was the one who picked it up. The first contact in her phone was Bruce, who Thor called to find the owner of the phone. Bruce called Clint, Clint called Natasha, and Natasha isn't stupid so she just called Peggy since it was about _her lost phone_. So when Natasha and Peggy found him doing that after school fitness training thing, they both tripped over themselves, because honestly…well, anyway, Thor is attractive, in any case. Blonde with blue eyes and nothing but muscle. They asked him if he'd reveal his training secret, and he just told them to watch the next class. Apparently he does everything that the students do, which is everything from running to weight lifting to gymnastics. And after that they started inviting him to the gym with them—oh, and that was _before_ Natasha started those self defense night classes, so she actually had _time_ to go to the gym. After a couple of weeks they invited him out to drinks, and that was that."

He comes out of the closet in a t-shirt and checkered pajama bottoms, pushing his fingers through his hair and walking into the bathroom. But then he comes back out, leaning against the frame. "Are you hungry or thirsty or anything?"

Loki shrugs. "Not really."

"Well there's an extra pair of pajama bottoms in there if you want to change into it."

"Will I be staying over?"

"You said it's been six years since you've slept with someone?"

"Right."

He smirks, going back into the bathroom. "You probably will, yeah. You might not be able to walk."

Loki snorts. "You are so conceited," he says, walking into the closet. "Hey, so those pajamas…"

Tony shows up beside him. "Sorry, I didn't think about the fact that you don't actually know where anything is. You might as well just undress. I'll meet you in the bed. Give me, like, two minutes."

Loki nods, following him out of the closest. The bathroom clicks shut, and Loki quick strips, putting all of his clothes into a neat pole before crawling under the covers. He's not really sure how to sit himself, but that's taken care of when he distracts himelf with a book that was sitting on one of the two nightstands.

When Loki realizes what the title of the book is and chuckles, Tony walks out of the bathroom with his clothes balled into his hands so that he's just in boxers, and his laugh cuts right off. Good lord, he's more in shape than Loki is. Does he even _do_ anything? And he's got a tattoo right in the middle of his chest; it's just a circle of sorts with an intricate design in the middle.

"My face is up here, Lo'."

He snaps his eyes up to him. "What's the tattoo for?"

He shrugs. "I can't remember. I was drunk in Malibu with Happy, who was probably drunker than I was, meaning that he doesn't remember either. I can't even remember what place I got it at. Anyway, why were you laughing?"

Loki remembers, snorting again. "Are you seriously reading Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase?"

"Hey now," he says, tossing his clothes onto the floor. "Don't knock it till you try it. Pepper bought me the first one for me a couple weeks ago, and once I finished it I had Happy go get me this second one." He crawls in bed beside Loki, settling practically in his lap before snatching the book away. "I'm only a couple of chapters into it so far." He sets it back on the nightstand.

The way he's leaning over…well, why let him make the first move?

Loki leans over him, draping an arm around his hip and pressing his lips to his shoulder.

"_Oh_," Tony says suggestively, turning his to face him. "Another thing I wasn't ready for."

"Mmm, and what was the other thing?"

"When you asked about how many best friends I have after seeing my Poster of Rules."

"Ah yes, the blank one. Well, let's not talk about any of our friends anymore and just…"

"Kiss me."


	3. Part I, Chapter III

**Part I, Chapter III: The First Morning**

Loki finds himself waking up the next morning to the most annoying alarm clock sound that he has ever heard. "Is that a rooster?" he mumbles.

"Ugh," Tony says, sitting up. "I really need to change that?"

"What time is it?"

"An hour before our first classes."

"Alright, that gives Darcy enough time to come get me."

"Psh, no way, you can just get ready here. My shower is big enough for three and has two showerheads. I can drop you off at your place so you can change your clothes and stuff."

So that's what they do. He's appalling at keeping his hands to himself, but that's okay, because Loki may or may not have been acting as sexy as he could so he _wouldn't_ be able to. Granted, he is in fact sore, but it's not too much that he can't just ignore it.

"Thanks for the ride," Loki says as he climbs out of Tony's car.

"Yeah, anytime!"

"I'll see you at school," he says, turning around to go up to his apartment level.

"Hey, Lo'?"

He turns back around to see the passenger window is down. "Yes?"

"I do mean _any time_." And Tony winks before driving off.

Loki smirks after him before turning around and going inside, calling for Darcy and Jane.

They're both instantly there. "Wow-_wee_!" Darcy says. "Drinks and action on the first day? I knew you were going places, but geez!"

Loki rolls his eyes and goes past her to his room. "And a good morning to you, too."

In his room, Jane comes in, closing the door behind her.

"Hi?" Loki says, putting on a clean shirt.

"Darcy told me all about school and last night and how it went with Thor," she says. "So don't lie to me. Did you really sleep with him?"

He sighs, changing his pants. "Yes, and before you asked if I liked it, yes—I mean, I'm a _guy_. _And_ before you ask if I'm going to do it again, probably yes, and he insinuated the same plan."

She sighs as well, leaning against the door. "Six years and _now_ you're going to let yourself sleep with people? Why _now_?"

He shrugs, getting new socks. "I'm staring college. Why not?"

She opens the door. "Well, I hope you know what you're doing." She walks out.

"Of course I don't," I mutter. "Do I ever?"

"Nope!" Darcy says, appearing in the doorway. "Come on, we've got to go."

**XxX**

A couple of days later, on a Thursday, Tony invites Loki and Darcy out to drinks again. These two days include Darcy talking non-stop about how much she loves Bruce, and Loki ending up at Tony's again on Wednesday night.

"I really don't see why you agreed to going out again," Darcy says as she steps into a shiny green snakeskin patterned dress. "You and Thor are just going to end up arguing off on your own again."

Loki rolls his eyes as he finishes up the painting of her toenails with silver polish. "It only happened because it was the first time we saw each other in six years. I saw him yesterday and we were fine."

She snorts. "Yeah, I saw you both too. He had his arm around your waist and you kept fixing his hair."

Loki frowns, capping the polish. "I don't remember that."

She laughs. "Good, because I'm lying. He just watched you with those painfully effective puppy dog eyes while you glared at him and batted his hands away when he _tried_ to fix your hair."

He sighs and hands up her silver hoop earrings and silver necklace. "Well, if _you_ think it's such a bad idea," he mutters as he sets the sexy in front of her the silver heels he bought her for her twentieth birthday, "why are you dressing up so extensively?"

She smirks, brushing her hand through her hair. "I want Bruce's number."

Loki snorts. "Darcy, love, he doesn't even look _Tony_ in the eyes, let alone give out his number."

She frowns, tapping at the corners of her eyes. "He looks me in the eye just fine."

Loki cocks an eyebrow, standing up to put her eyeliner on. "Really? Well it can't be because you're a girl, because he can't look Natasha in the eye either."

"I've never noticed his being shy before," she says, shrugging. "He stutters sometimes, but I just chocked that up to just being how he speaks."

"Alright, whatever." I grab up the mascara. "Let's just get there, okay?"

"At least change your shirt first. You have a stain from the grape juice I spilled on you back at lunch."

He groans, letting her point out the shirt he should wear before letting her finish with the mascara on her own. She's always picking his clothes out for her, which he's grown so used to that he actually kind of likes it now.

"Will you be going home with Tony again?" she asks, fixing his hair.

"I have no idea."

She giggles. "You're _catching_; it's just so funny! With Thor it makes sense since he's eight times your size, but…" She laughs louder. "You hate being anything but dominant! Maybe you should sleep with me so you can be on top for once in your life."

He wrinkles his nose up. "I may love you to death, but that body of yours is not on my list of things to do."

"And thank goodness for that! I love you too, but sleeping with you is like sleeping with my dad and brother and best friend all rolled into one. Yuck. Come on, we're going to be late. Jane said we could take her motorcycle!

Any color that Loki ever has in his face drains out. "You're going to drive in _those_ heels? They're the tallest ones you own!"

She looks down at them, turning her heel out. "I've done it before."

He sighs. "I suppose Slytherin's _are_ good looking on motorcycles."

She snorts. "_I'm_ a Slytherin? Yea, sure. You had to _teach_ me how to lie. How am _I_ a Slytherin?"

Loki blinks at her.

She blinks back before looking over at herself in the full length mirror she insists that Loki keep in his bedroom. She sighs. "I knew I should have gone with the blue and bronze look. I'm much more attractive as a Ravenclaw."

"Darcy, you can't even _spell_ Ravenclaw. Come on, I'll drive."

"But _I_ want to!"

"I don't trust you _walk_ in those things, love."

She smirks. "Loki, baby, I'll show you how a _Slytherin_ drives."

**XxX**

"I'll have you know," Loki mutters, pulling off his black motorcycle helmet, "that I already _know_ how a Slytherin drives because I _am_ one."

She pulls off her own hot-rod red helmet, hair still perfect, and smirks. "You do look good in green?"

Before he can answer her, there's a cat call, followed by, "And _wow_ do you look good on a bike!"

Loki and Darcy turn to see Tony walking towards them with Steve and Bruce.

"Well _hey_," Darcy says, smiling brightly as she swings off. "Fancy seein' y'all here."

"You drove here in _those_?" Bruce asks, pointing at the silver heels. And yes, he does look her straight in the eye

"Walking is harder," she says, flittering her wrist. "Hey Steve, could Lo' and I put our helmets in Phil's van? I mean, you've got the keys since you drive it."

"Yeah, okay," he says absentmindedly, walking past both of us. "This is a _nice_ bike."

Loki breathes a laugh, Darcy smirks, Tony snorts, and Bruce shakes his head.

"Yeah?" Darcy says. "It's Jane's. I have no idea what make it is." She takes both helmets and shoves them into Steve's hands. "Go put these in the van before you start drooling." She spins around to link her arm with Bruce's. "Come on, Batman, you can buy me a glass of water."

Tony and Loki stare after them before talking at the same time: Loki with "Batman?" and Tony with the much longer "Did he just look her in the eye? He doesn't even look _me_ in the eye!"

"Yeah, she accidentally called him Bruce Wayne on Monday," Steve says, turning to them, the helmets tucked under his arms. "So now she calls him Batman. As for the eye contact, I don't know. Tell Peggy I'll be right in after I put these away.

When Loki and Tony are halfway to the bar entrance, Loki is suddenly spun around by a very big someone and kissed full on the mouth. Of course the beard gives away that it's Thor.

"Thor, you imbecile!" Loki snarls, pulling his face away.

"Hey now," Tony says, pulling Loki away from Thor completely and into his own arms. "My date."

"Tony, you do not under_stand_!" Thor groans. "It has been six _years_!"

"It's not my fault you didn't come after me," Loki snaps.

"I could not have done any such thing! I was not aware of your location for the first year, and by then it was too late!"

"Well _any_way," Tony says. "Looks like you two have a few things to hash out." He looks up at me with a pursed smile. "Come in and get me if you need any help." He leans up to kiss me on the cheek before disappearing inside.

Loki and Thor just stare at each other before Loki stomps away to his truck. He was sixteen before Loki left, and he obtained the annoying habit of parking as far to the left as the parking lot would allow.

"You remembered the whereabouts of where I park?" Thor asks.

"Of course I remembered," Loki snaps. "You would even insist that I walk in the rain because it _builds character_; as if I could forget. Get up there and you can help me up."

Thor swings into the bed of the giant red truck before taking both of Loki's hands and pulling him up as well so that he falls into his arms.

"You did that on purpose," Loki mutters, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the truck.

"I did," he says, sitting on the opposite side.

Loki huffs, crossing my arms. "Start talking, Thor. Tony owes me a drink and I don't want to miss it."

"I love you more than I love the stars, Loki. Please?"

"Please _what_?"

"Come home with me."

Loki groans. "Thor, you know I can't do that. I'm here with Tony. Besides, we're _over_—and we have been for six years!"

"And we could not start up again?"

"_No_."

"Why not?"

"Because we're both so different from what we used to be!"

"I have not changed an ounce, and you seem the same as well."

Loki huffs again. "Of course _you_ haven't changed, but _I_ on the other hand _have_."

"Your favorite color is green."

"And how obvious is _that_?"

"I remember everything of what you used to be, Loki, and I know that it is still you. You hate walking and you talk in your sleep and at least once a month you have a recurring nightmare about the kitten we couldn't save. Your favorite word is 'oh' and you want to dye your hair auburn but you do not because you did with non-permanent dye once just to try it and it looked terrible. You cannot fall asleep on anything but a bed no matter how long you lie there and you say that you hate everyone when you really just want them to prove you wrong. Your eyes are the most _beautiful_ emerald green but they turn a dark, _dark_ blue when you are angry and when I kiss you they turn a dark green and when I hold you at night they sparkle so brightly that they shine through your eyelids and I cannot get to sleep. Because I _love_ you, Loki, and you're still the _same_!"

Loki stares at him, forcing his jaw to stay shut. "I'm going inside for that drink," he whispers.

But Thor is at him right away, pulling him in for another kiss. "Please, Loki…" he breathes. "Please come home."

Loki doesn't think he's ever given in to anything so fast in his entire life.

**XxX**

Loki wakes up who knows how many hours later in Thor's bed, the blonde's arms around him and his lips kissing at his shoulder.

Loki groans. "Hey, Thor, remember when I said that I was going to regret this just before we fell asleep?"

"Mmm, yes," he breathes, not really listening. "Why?"

"I think I am now."

"Whatever for?"

"I didn't even tell Tony goodbye. My track record with goodbyes is…not very good."

Thor frowns down at him. "You thought of Tony before Lady Darcy?"

"Of course I did. He _was_ my date, after all. Besides, Darcy would know where I am the instant she heard your name."

That gets him to smile. "You look very beautiful when your hair is a mess."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Of course I do. What time is it?"

"It is not but an hour past the middle of the night."

"One in the morning?" he sits up. "I need to go home."

Thor frowns, sitting up beside him. "Why must you?"

"Because I have school tomorrow, and you have to get to the high school earlier than I to the college." He swings out of bed and starts to get dressed.

"You'll need a ride," the blonde says, beginning to do the same.

"No, I can walk."

"Loki, we have already established that you hate walking, and your apartment is _miles_ away."

Loki sighs. "Yeah, I know."

Thor frowns and pulls Loki back onto the bed, ignoring the protests of the smaller man. "We must talk, Loki."

"Haven't we already?" he mutters.

"No. We must speak about Tony."

Loki sighs, prying himself out of Thor's grip to keep getting dressed. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Do you love him?"

"Of course not. I've only known him since Monday."

"But you _could_ love him?"

"Well I _could_ love anybody."

"And how many times have you slept with him?"

He shrugs on his sweatshirt at the same time he slips into his low-top Converse. "Twice."

"So you have slept with two people?"

He ties the laces. "Right."

He gives a disgusted look and sound. "How horseish."

Loki freezes before standing slowly to stare at him. "Excuse me?"

"You are acting as a horse!"

He blinks a lot. "Are you calling me a _whore_?"

"Yes! That is the word."

He gives a snort. "I'm a whore because I've slept with two people my entire _life_?"

"No, it is because you have slept with more than _one_."

"Thor!" he yells in disbelief. "Being a whore doesn't consist of _that_! It's when you sleep with all _sorts_ of people. Rent-boys and strippers, but not _me_. Sleeping with two people is a _feat_ for most of the world."

"Then the entire world is filled with horses!" he booms.

"_Whores_, Thor," Loki spits. "It's _whores_. I'm leaving."

"Wait for me, I must drive you!"

"No thanks, I'll walk." He stomps out of the bedroom.

"But Loki! You hate—"

"I KNOW WHAT I HATE, YOU FUCKER." He slams the front door behind him, taking off at a sprint. He doesn't know how long he runs, but it's enough that he can't breathe anymore. He collapses against a wall, sliding to the ground.

That's when he realizes where he is. Tony passed that sign a mile away form his place!

So he forces himself to get back up, and he just…starts…walking.

**XxX**

Who knows how long later, just as Loki walks up Tony's driveway, he realizes that he's been crying tears of anger.

"Wonderful," he mutters, wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Before he can talk himself out of it, he raises his hand and knocks on the front door.

It opens a moment later to Tony rubbing his eyes and muttering darkly—until he sees that it's Loki. "Lordy, Lo', where did you run off t—wait, are those tears? I thought the only real emotions you had were anger and lust!"

Loki shakes his head, wiping a thumb under an eye. "You're not wrong," he chokes out.

"Tears of anger?"

He wipes his other eye. "Yeah."

"Thor did this?"

He nods again."

He holds a hand out to him. "Come on inside, then. I was just making coffee."

Loki frowns, taking the hand. "It's two in the morning."

He shrugs and pulls him inside, kicking the door shut behind them. "Sleep is for the weak."

A few minutes later, they're settled down in the gigantic living room with their cups of black coffee. Tony has given Loki a blanket to wrap up in, but he himself is just sitting on the other end in pajama pants and a t-shirt. For whatever reason, there's a hole in his shirt so that you can see his tattoo.

"Alright, lay it on me."

Loki swallows. "You never told me where you got your tattoo."

"I told you I was drunk in Malibu with Happy. What did Thor do to upset you, Loki?"

He fidgets, taking another sip of coffee.

"Good lord, are you twitching?" He sets down his glass on the coffee table. "What did he _do_?"

Loki sets down his glass before standing up with the blanket so he can pace a bit. "A few things, but I don't really want to talk about it. Can we talk about…something else? Anything else."

"Wow, I should have given you decaf. Give five words about it and then we'll talk about Darcy's grades."

He drops back onto the couch, his legs tangled slightly in the blanket. "He called me a whore."

Tony counts his words off on his finger before he sighs. "Okay, first off, if anyone's a whore, it's me. Second, _how_ are you one? You've slept with a grand total of two people!"

"He thinks that, because it's been more than one, that I'm somehow being…one. Because he's dated other women—well, not other, but…oh whatever. He's dated others before, he's just never slept with them before."

"Lo', listen, being a whore is when you sleep with two different people a week like I sometimes find myself doing. Whatever Thor said, he's just mad at you, alright? Now, can we keep talking about this or should I distract you with Darcy's grades or something?"

Loki sighs. "He's not just mad at me for _this_. He's still mad at me for leaving in the first place. I didn't give him a single ounce of communication even once while I was in New Mexico. Oh, and he's mad at you too, by the way. He's going to have a very stern talk with you tomorrow."

He smirks. "I'll tell him we were drunk."

"No, I already told him everything. He's the only one in the entire world I've never been able to lie to. Why do you think I didn't contact him at all? He would have heard right through me if I told him that I'd be home soon."

Tony nods. "I understand that."

He realizes something. "How do _you_ have Darcy's grades? She doesn't even have a class with you."

"True, but she does have two with Steve, and apparently she's paired up with him for an upcoming art project, so she was over at his place to work on it while Peggy did her own homework. I was talking on the phone with Steve for something and…well, she talks loud, okay? And she sure is a _blabbermouth_. Did you know she has a Clint-minus in…well, one of her classes, anyway."

Loki smiles, unwrapping himself from the blanket. "Yes, I did. I should go back home now."

"What, to Darcy, where you'll have to re-explain the whole thing all over again?"

"No, she knows when I don't want to talk. I'll telling her in the morning."

"Don't care. You can sleep on my couch tonight."

Loki looks up at him, and Thor's words about him run through his mind. He can't fall asleep on anything but a bed no matter how long he lies there. "Tony?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I just stay in your bed tonight? And I mean actually sleep. I'm assuming you're not into the whole spooning thing, all Ghost of Girlfriend's Past and shit…but I'm pretty sure if someone doesn't hold me down I'm going to go back to Thor."

Tony gives a small smile as he stands, picking up both of their coffee cups. "Yeah, sure, there's an extra pair of pajama bottoms…" He breathes a laugh. "Well, you know where they are. You can put them on while I put the glasses away or, hell, you can sleep in your briefs. I don't care—though I suggest you do keep what you can on, because if you're naked I'm probably just going to ride you into the mattress before too long."

Loki can't help but smile back at him. "You really are an asshole, you know that?"

"And a damn fine one at that. Go change before I take you right here. I like you and you know it."

Loki grins as he walks away.

When Tony comes into the bedroom Loki is wearing his briefs, but also the extra pajama bottoms, and…

"Are you reading my Nancy Drew book?" Tony asks.

Loki smirks without looking up at him. "You must be a slow reader, because I've already finished the first chapter."

"Yeah? What'dyuh think?"

"Eh, I'm not really a big fan of mysteries. But it's good. I played one of the video games as a kid, actually. I want to say it was number eight, but I'm probably about twenty off. I think it was called the Mystery of the Haunted Carousel. I don't know."

He smiles, crawling in beside me. "Are you going to sneak out to go to Thor while I'm asleep?"

"Not if you hold onto me tight enough."

"One kiss?"

Loki laughs, leaning over him to set the book down. "No way. We'll be up all night."

He gives a dreamy sigh. "If only, if only."

"Goodnight, Tone."

"Night, Lo'."


	4. Part I, Chapter IV

**Part I, Chapter IV: The Second Relationship**

Loki wakes up the next morning to Tony's rooster alarm with a splitting headache.

"I really need to change that," Tony mutters like he always does, pulling himself away from their spooning position.

"Oh gods," Loki moans. "Need Advil."

Tony's there a moment later with two pills and glass of water, and Loki downs them before meeting his eyes.

"Thank you," he says.

Tony knows very well that he means more than just the Advil, but also for letting him stay over, but Tony just smiles and goes to put the glass away.

They get ready the same way they do every morning, Loki getting ready there and Tony then driving him to his place to change his clothes and get his backpack and things. Tony grabs his gigantic thermos of coffee for them to share as he drives to Loki's place.

"The car is gone," Loki says with a frown.

"Yeah, we're running a little late," Tony says. "Just get your stuff; I'll drive you."

Loki was annoyed that he didn't have his car at Thor's last night, but now he sees that it worked out better since Darcy needs a way to get to college and Jane needs her own motorcycle to get to work.

"See Thor anywhere?" Tony asks as we park. "I mean, I know he should be at the high school right now, but…"

"I don't see him.," Loki says, gathering up his things before they get out of the car to separate as fast as they can.

It's ill-timed, though.

"STARK!" Thor's voice booms across the parking lot area reserved for professors. "LOKI! One more step and I shall tackle both of you to the ground like the enemy team!"

Loki and Tony both turn around from their not-so strategic positions so that Thor knows they hear him before slowly stepping around until we're beside each other.

"I don't want to talk to you," Loki says when the blonde reaches them.

"Did you hear nothing that I said last night?"

"Oh yeah, he heard it," Tony says.

Loki doesn't think he's actually seen Tony angry before, but this sounds about right.

"So loud that he went straight to you again?" Thor asks darkly. "You are my friend, Tony. I know you like to sleep with many males and females, but I honestly did not think you would go so far as to take what I have clearly marked as my own."

"Thor!" Loki snarls in disbelief, appalled. "We were _freshmen_ that slept together a grand totally of three times! That does not make me _yours_!"

"Is it not a custom to sleep with only the one you love?"

Loki huffs and crosses his arms. "Maybe I never loved you."

He can see Thor's entire heart shatter by the look on his face before it switches swiftly back to the same anger as last night. "But you do not love Tony, either. I do not understand."

"Not everybody is like you, Thor. They sleep with a lot of people."

"Then the entire world is filled with horses!" Thor booms.

"It's _whores_," Loki grinds out between clamped teeth. "Horses are _animals_ you _idiot_."

"I do not like the word, I shall call it what I like!" He gives a gigantic sigh, looking down at Tony. "If I find that he has stayed over again, I will not hesitate to challenge you."

Tony is about to reply with a sort of snarl-like thing, but Loki beats him to it: "You might as well right now, then, because we're boyfriends, and boyfriends stay over with each other all the time."

Tony looks up at Loki with a brilliant poker face, and he turns to lock eyes with him for about a second before he gives him a mischievous smile that could put Loki's to shame before they both look back up at Thor.

"Exactly," Tony says. "I asked him out last night, after _you_ so _pointedly_ let him know just how much you don't appreciate him."

Thor looks torn between frowning, glaring, pulling his hair out in frustration, or pulling Tony's hair out. "You are a couple?" he asks calmly.

"Yes," Loki says, quick grabbing Tony's hand and weaving their fingers together before holding the action up. "A couple. Dating. Boyfriends. So, if you'll excuse us, we have our classes to get to." He gives Tony a very pointed kiss on the cheek before they separate, him to his classroom and Loki to Jarvis', leaving Thor looking very distraught indeed.

**XxX**

Halfway through Jarvis' class, Loki gets a text from Jane:

**Thor called me.**

He rolls his eyes and puts his phone away without answering, but it just vibrates a few minutes later.

**He's never called me before.**

**So what?** Loki answers. **Talk to him about my grades or something.**

**He already knows ur grades.**

**U're interrupting my learning time, Jane. What do u want?**

**I just wanted u to know that I'll be spending a lot of time with him for the next few weeks or** **so, and that if he knows things it's ur own fault.**

**Ok whatever thanks bye have fun at home make some new discoveries bye**

**XxX**

Halfway through Tony's class (in which Loki is _actually_ teaching), he gets from _Steve_, however _he_ got his number:

**Ure dating Tony?**

**Where'd u learn that?**

**Tony told me.**

**I should have known that. Yes. Don't tell Darcy.**

**About that…**

**Ugh, never mind.**

**XxX**

When Loki is having lunch with Darcy, Sharon, and Rhodey, all three of them nearly in sync say:

"So you're dating Tony?"

Loki groans. "Where did you guys learn that?"

"Steve told me," Darcy says, "and I told them because you were late getting here."

"Right, well, yeah, we're dating." And before they ask more questions, he adds: "And I'm not going to talk about it, so just eat your food."

**XxX**

In world geography, Loki actually gets pulled aside by Bruce while the rest of the class is doing something else.

"You're dating Tony?" he asks, looking directly at the tip of my nose. He still doesn't make eye contact with me.

Loki rolls his eyes. "Good lord, _yes_! I knew news traveled fast in this group, but do you seriously have to confirm it? Who told you?"

"Tony did, but he tends to make stuff up like this all the time. The first time he did it he had every single one of us convinced that he was having a secret relationship with Natasha. He told each individual that they were the only one he told about it, so none of us ever asked her to confirm it. Of course 'Tasha smashed that like a bug a couple of days later before she hit Tony upside the head, but she did get a few laughs out of it."

"Right, well, I actually am.

"Is it just to piss Thor off?"

Loki frowns. "Not that I don't love chatting to you, but you should probably get your lecture up and going again."

He nods.

**XxX**

In Natasha's class, Loki gets much of the same treatment. We have a test in Dutch and a few other languets today, and the instant that he finishes it she tells him to gather up his things before she pulls him right outside of the door.

"If you're going to ask me about dating Tony I'm going to walk away," Loki says right away.

"I'm not going to talk to you yet," she says. "I'm just warning you that I will be once this class is over."

"So I just leave as soon as I can?"

"Your test is finished. You can leave now. But I'll find you. I find everyone."

Loki just raises his eyebrows in recognition before turning around to find himself running smack into Clint. "Who yuh textin'?" he asks him, holding his hand out to Natasha. That confuses Loki for about a second before he sees the woman put his phone into Clint's hand. Great, a pickpocket for a teacher.

"Tony," he says calmly. He really couldn't care less if he sees what they're talking about. "And I also have a finished conversation from Steve."

"You're texting Tony?" he asks, honestly confused. Is there any possible way he could not know about the whole thing yet? "What about, today's homework? What else could you be—_oh_."

He shoves my phone back into Loki's hands with a grin, to which Loki replies with a smirk and a, "And here I thought everybody already knew about it." And he walks away.

He always jeeps to updated picture of himself in his phone—very dirty picture, yes. Mostly they're there for the simple purpose of freaking Darcy out whenever she goes through his pictures, but it's just an added bonus that he gets to send them to somebody. Either Tony's seeing this as a real relationship or he's just horny.

Loki walks into his room, sliding silently to the back of the room so he can finish up the last ten minutes. He's still texting his student, and he continues to without look at the screen of his phone at the at the same time that he writes left-handed on the whiteboard even though he's right-handed.

**Ure amazing,** I write.

**Aren't I?** he replies. **Did Thor catch u on ur way here?**

**No, did he barge in or something?**

**Yes. Gave the class a heart attack when he mentioned my new BF. Good thing most people** **already knows about my swinging both ways.**

He lets the class out before Loki gets to answering him, so he just makes his way down to him as he leans against his desk at the front of the room. There are still a couple of students in the room, but it doesn't really matter. Tony reaches out for him and I go right into his arms, throwing my own warms around his neck as he sets his hands on my sides. We kiss deeply, pointedly ignoring the small gasps of "so that's who the big guy meant" behind them. This is what Tony gets for teaching Running Start students.

"Wow," Loki whispers when he's caught his breath. "You'd think there was a camera in here that channeled straight to Thor's brain with that one."

"There could be," Tony laughs. "Natasha helps him out with weird things like that all the time. They get along way too well, him letting her sit up on his shoulders and whatnot."

"Well, they do live together, which is odd in itself…"

"No way, there is no way they could be sleeping together. Thor meant what he said about the world being filled with horses. He wouldn't go against that. We both know he's not like that."

That's when we notice there are two girls just _staring_ at us.

"Excuse you," Tony says darkly. "It's rude to stare."

Loki smirks at him. "You stare all the time."

"At least _I_ do it with some _tact_."

Loki winks at the girls, who look terrified and turned on at the same time as they walk out.

"I know!" Tony exclaims. "We could make a porno!" He swings them around until he's dipped Loki towards the ground in one of those dancing-type moves. "We'd make thousands."

"Right, because I'm definitely going to let you film that."

"Come on, it'll be fun!" he says, spinning back up so that they're in a waltzing position. "We can watch it later and point out all of our faults to make a better one next time!"

"I know you're kind of kinky, but I draw the line at watching myself have sex. Maybe if I happen to glimpse it in a mirror, but not intentionally."

"Psh, that's no fun. I'll just watch it by myself! Ooh, ooh, could I invite Clint?"

Loki snorts, nearly tripping over his own feet as they dance. "Clint? No. I know he's bisexual, but…why, would he _want_ to watch it?"

"Naw, he's had a crush on Natasha for years and doesn't have eyes for anybody else. I just wanted to freak him out."

"I already did that. He grabbed my phone and got a good look at the pictures I sent you."

Tony bursts into laughter. "Which one? The one with your face in it or the one that looks like Darcy took it since it's from across the room?"

"Darcy did _not_ take that. I was bored, okay? Yes I have filmed myself before, no I have not watched it later. Also, I think he saw both."

"Oh _wow_. Maybe he does have eyes for others."

"If smirking means that he has eyes for me, than yes, he does."

Tony chuckles. "Well, he wouldn't come anyway because he'd feel like his betraying Natasha even though they're not even a couple. So let's see…" They spin around, ending up on opposite sides of the room before spinning back together. "We couldn't invite Thor because he would snap my neck, Steve and Bruce would be _so_ uncomfortable, Natasha would criticize us too much, Fury wouldn't have any reaction at all, Maria would read a book, Phil would knit at the same time he talked during the whole thing about, and Jarvis would…"

"Jarvis would go make something to eat in the kitchen," a new voice says.

Tony almost drops Loki from where he's leaning him down again, but he yanks the student up against him. "Jay," he says. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear about the sex tape. Where did you learn to dance, Loki?"

He shrugs, letting himself get pulled back into more waltzing. "Darcy dances a lot to help with her balance, so I was always around to help her practice."

"She taught you the female version as well?"

"Of every dance she learned and then some."

He smirks, looking over at Tony. "You should take him out some time, sir. Seems like he'd enjoy it."

"Good gods, no," Tony says. "He'd just get stolen away from me."

"Take me where?" Loki asks.

"Clubbing," Tony says. "I used to go a lot, but Steve tells me I'm too old, so I just go to movies with him and Peggy."

"Wow, _you're_ the third wheel? You should take me with. Show him what a real party is."

"Steve would _not_ go clubbing, and neither would his wife. Peggy is a stick in the mud when I'm around."

"Then we'll go by ourselves."

"No. Like I said, you'll be taken away from me."

"Does it really bother you? Is this boyfriend thing getting to your head? It was just to piss Thor off."

He gives me a brilliant poker face, so Loki knows that he's said something wrong. But he quick fixes it, because he's good at that. He looks down at the ground. "Well, from his and your perspective, anyway."

Tony's breath hitches just a little, so I know I've fixed it. That was easy.

When I look up at him, he lets out the tiniest of laughs. "I've never seen you blush before."

Loki steps away from him, his hands flying up to his face. "I'm blushing?" He doesn't blush. Well, he does, but not when he's trying to fix something. He's never been able to fake a blush.

"Yes you are, sir," Jarvis says, dropping a big huge folder on Tony's desk. "But you can discuss it later. Mr. Stark, Miss Potts has emailed me to make sure that you do these."

Tony groans right as Natasha bursts into the room.

"There you are," she says, looking at her nails. "I had to walk all the way over here to find you."

Loki sighs. "Do I have to go _now_?"

"Yes, because now is perfect. Tony is working and Thor is looking for you."

Loki's entire body slumps. He doesn't even try to hide it. "He told you everything, didn't he?"

"I live there, idiot."

"What, you were there? I didn't see you at all!"

"You don't _see_ Natasha, Lo'," Tony says as he goes through all the papers that Jarvis set on the desk. "She sees _you_."

"Right," Loki says, turning to her. "Would you like to watch a homemade sex tape?" he asks in his best salesman voice.

She shrugs. "Only if Clint comes too. I like watching him squirm." She spins on her heels, and Loki takes that as his "invitation" to follow her.

He waves goodbye to Tony, smiling when he blows a very not-Tony styled kiss. When it's just him and Natasha walking to nowhere in particular, Loki says, "Is that why you do that not-flirting thing in which you're so blatantly flirting that he doesn't think you're actually flirting?"

She smirks at him. "To make him squirm? Yes. Yes it is. Now, answer me this question. Are you and Tony _actually_ dating?"

"First, did Clint actually not know about the whole thing when he took my phone?"

"No, he didn't, but he does now. Is there any particular reason you changed Tony's contact name to 'BOYFRIEND', in all caps and with hearts on both ends?"

"You're not the only one that likes watching people squirm."

"You let me take your phone so that he would get it?"

"No, it just happened to work out that way."

She laughs. Not one of those "ha-ha you just got run over by a car" kind of laughs that she usually has. A real laugh. "I like you," she says. "Now, answer my question."

Loki sighs. "I don't know, actually. We were both talking about it, but Jane interrupted us. I said it to piss Thor off right at first, but throughout the day…" He shrugs. "We were dancing and I—"

"You were dancing?"

"Shush and let me finish. We were dancing and I mentioned that it was just to piss off the blonde, and his face fell into a perfect poker face. I think he wants it to be real, but I'm not completely sure."

"And what do you want it to be? Real or not real?"

Loki purses his lips and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Real. It's been a long time since Thor, and I haven't been with anybody else between then and now."

"Why not?"

"Because I sort of hate everybody."

"You got along with Tony right away."

"Only because he's hot. It was on the first day when he was standing with you and a man I'm going to guess was Happy. Darcy actually mentioned how hot _you_ are, but that's not the point. The point is, now that I actually know him, I have to admit that he's quite my type."

"How so?"

"Sarcastic asshole that sext, dances, _and_ enjoys freaking people out? He's perfect. He's like me, but…"

"More outgoing?"

"I was going to say 'like me but not', but that probably works better."

"Then you're prepared to keep going through Thor and to put up with Tony even when he's being an asshole to _you_? Because he will be, you know. He may not seem it, but he's very high maintenance. He drinks too much, swears even more, and…well, high maintenance."

"I understand," Loki says. "Thor is the same way. Different reasons, of course, but it's the same concept."

"Yes, I know what you mean. But you might want to stop comparing Tony to Thor—at least when either of them are around. Tony will just go with it with a laugh, but it probably makes him feel…second placed. It's Friday, so we're all going out for drinks again. But Friday's are different, because none of us have any work on Saturday so we can drink more and stay out later than usual. Tony's usually the worst, both with drinks and how late he stays out. Are you prepared for that?"

"Of course I am. I'll be the designated driver and blah, blah, blah. I've been around him when he's drunk before, so I think I can do it again."

"Loki, you don't understand. If you think he wants to be dating you, I trust you in that he does, because I watch you sometimes, and you're very good at reading people. But when Tony is drunk he's going to go straight back to being single again. You can't leave his side or he'll end up in a back room with some stranger. Steve is always the designated driver because the level he has to drink to get drunk also happens to be the same amount that you need to get alcohol poisoning, but you're going to have to join him unless you want your boyfriend all over everybody else."

Loki purses his lips. "I assumed that. I can do that."

"I'll watch Darcy for you."

"But she doesn't drink."

"I know that, but I also know how tempting it can be. So I'll be with her all night to watch her."

"Do _you_ not drink?"

"Oh yes, I drink. Just not enough to require someone to watch _me_. And on Friday's neither does Clint, Fury, Maria, Jarvis, or Phil. And then Steve doesn't drink at all, sometimes accompanied by Peggy."

Loki nods. "Alright, sounds good. Do you think Steve will be able to drop Darcy off at home, too? Because, I mean, Tony and I are probably going to end up at his place with me driving his Audi, and he'll probably start the night by driving us there. There are only two seats, so…"

"I'll have Steve pick her up as well. I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course."

"Oh, by the way, the _entire_ gang is going to be there tonight."

Loki groans.

She frowns. "What's so bad about that?"

"It's not that!" Loki says. "I couldn't care less how many people will be there. It's that I left my backpack in Tony's classroom!"

She just laughs at him again.

**XxX**

On the way to the bar, when Loki is in Tony's Audi and Darcy's off in Phil's big ass van that Steve drives everybody in, Tony brings up jobs again:

"Do any of you actually do anything?"

"Jane gets paid by the government for some scientist shit, but Darcy and I are still looking," Loki says, going through his glove box. There's always something new in it. "Jane did find that there's a help wanted add in the paper at that HAMMER coffee shop, so that's probably will Darcy will go since Jane's already got most of her time taken up by her science work."

He smirks. "I have a much better place for the two of you."

"What? Really?"

"Yup! SHIELD books has gotten a little busier in the last couple of weeks, so just Bucky isn't quite enough to hold it down for now. And since 'Ria is the college librarian, she can't get there until later in the day. So if Jane is looking for a part time job around her science stuff, she could be there from about nine to about…four, maybe a little earlier. I don't know how long her kind of science takes, but if she's open for the first part of the day, she'd only have to work for about five hours or so. The first two hours are always the slowest, so Bucky's got that. The farther in they get to the business, though, she might have to stark going in at seven as well."

"No, hey, that's great! That's just about what she's looking for, too. Just a part day. And working from home, it doesn't matter if she's there in the morning or afternoon or evening or whatever. That'd be awesome!"

"Yeah, I'll throw in a word for her to 'Ria and Bucky at the bar tonight!"

"Sounds brilliant."

"And for Darcy…do you think she'd be any good at secretary work?"

Loki snorts. "Um, what _kinds_ of secretary work?"

"Not much, actually. Grabbing coffee and running a couple of errands. Making a few calls. Taking a few notes. Stuff like that. It's just that, right now, the assistant Pepper has can only be there on certain days and at certain times. If Darcy could follow her around on weekends and after school on Tuesday's and Thursday's…well, Pepper'd love me forever for finding somebody without her help."

Loki grins. "No, that's brilliant, I can talk to her about it too!"

He nods. "And for _you_! Let's see…there's always HAMMER coffee, but I hate Justin more than Fury hates me, so that's not a good idea. Hey! Fury! He owns that fancy five-star restaurant somewhere around here! It doesn't even open till it's time for lunch, but the lunch and dinner times have completely different shifts. Not to mention the _tips_! Are you any good at waiting tables? And these are some fancy ass tables, so I don't mean McDonald's or shit like that."

"No, no, I've had some experience with the whole thing. I worked at this little diner thing the two years I didn't have school before we came out here, and that's a lot more difficult than it sounds. You have to carry a lot more at those things than the tiny little meals you get at five-star restaurants."

"Right, I'll talk to him too! Anyway, if you were twenty-one when you came here but you weren't in school for two years…"

"I graduated when I was nineteen."

"But…Thor's older than you…right?"

"Yeah, by eight months. My birthday is May ninth; I could have gone up a grade, but I wanted to stay with Thor. His parents made him re-take the first grade, which is how we ended up in the same grade, and I wasn't about to…well, other than the fact that he was pretty much my only friend, do you have any idea how horrible he would feel? He gets held back, so he's with younger people, and then I'm pushed forward with older people. It was better for both of us that I stayed, and I still believe that."

He nods, pulling onto the street that the bar's on. "Alright, I've heard things that have happened in your junior and senior year, but I haven't heard a thing about your sophomore year. Tell me about that!"

Loki forces himself not to panic. "My most boring year? Well, that was definitely my—"

"No, no, not your most boring year. Your _sophomore_ year."

"Oh look, we're here!" Loki says as they pull into the parking lot. "that was so much faster than I anticipated! Come on, we have people to meet." He goes to get out, because he will never tell a soul about the things he can't remember, but Tony locks the doors, and these locks disappear complete.

Loki swallows hard.

"Why won't you tell me?" Tony asks quietly.

"Because I was really fucking up in my sophomore year, okay?" he snaps. "I don't want to talk about it."

Tony takes Loki's chin to turn his face towards him. "Are we dating or not, Loki?"

Loki swallows again. "Yes."

"Then tell me."

He back pedals. "Never mind, we're not."

"Loki, seriously."

He narrows his eyes. "You really want to know? You want to know what I was like after my parents died?"

"I do."

He sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair. "I used to cut myself. I'm pale enough that you can't see the scars if you're not looking for them." He holds his arm out to Tony, who takes it tentatively in his hands.

His eyes widen now that he's looking for them. "Shit, Lo'," he whispers.

"Yes, shit, thank you." He pulls his arm away, looking out of his window. "I had to go to the hospital twice because I cut too deep, and apparently they put it down on your record for the rest of your life, so if I ever want kids…" He shrugs. "It's going to be harder for me to actually get them, because they don't want to let those who might kill themselves adopt. I used to talk in my sleep—"

"You still talk in your sleep."

Loki sighs, looking over at him. "No, I mean…I always have, but it was worse during my sophomore year. I…don't actually remember most of the year, Tony, because my own mind has blocked it without my consent. Darcy, and the other two have told me all about it. I would have fits and go out and turn the electricity off to the house, and I got kicked out of two high schools, and I used to break into places. They got me this medication that would calm me down, and after a while it actually started helping me enough that I didn't need to take the pills anymore. Literally the only thing I remember is when I started cutting and then getting kicked out of the second school. Everything in between is a black blur in my life that cuts me open every time it's brought up. During that and even afterwards I was reckless, though, and I broke a lot of things. I used to skateboard a lot, and I broke my wrist and arm, and I still loved snowboarding, and during that I broke my leg." He breathes a laugh. "One time I got into a fight because I'm gay and I got my nose split, too. That's been over multiple years, though. I could define my life as one big trip to doctor's offices."

Tony is silent for a while, until he finally says: "Loki, I—"

"You don't have to say anything," Loki says, giving him a warm smile. "Just don't tell anyone."

Tony gives a sad smile before leaning over and kissing Loki's chin. "I won't tell a soul."

Loki kisses him on the mouth before he leans too far away, not wanting to let go.

Tony laughs, dropping his hands down to his waist and pushing his hands up his shirt. "If only I had a back seat."

Loki laughs as well, tracing his tongue over the inside of Tony's lips. "Come on," he says. "We'll have all night. People are waiting for us."


	5. Part I, Chapter V

**Part I, Chapter V: The Third Night Out**

Beginning chapter notes: There'll be a few lines of words not in English, but don't worry, I've written there translations at the end of the chapter! :)

At the bar, the order in which everybody sits has officially been changed now that Loki and Darcy are part of the group. Now it's, going from the left opening: Fury, Maria, Bucky, Phil, Jarvis, Rhodey, Sharon, Peggy, Steve, Loki, Tony, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Darcy, Thor, Pepper, and then Happy.

"I think they enlarged our booth again," Bucky says very seriously.

"It's only your booth on Tuesday's," Maria snaps at him.

"Ladies, please," Clint says, flicking the paper that was holding a pair of silverware together across the table so that it hits Bucky in the nose. "It's only ever _my_ booth."

Loki gives a good natured eye roll and looks over at Tony sitting beside him to ignore the arguing. Bucky and Maria are _always_ arguing. "What will you be drinking tonight?" he asks, gripping my hand into a fist so I don't play with my hair.

Tony shrugs, absentmindedly prying apart his fingers. "I don't know why," he says, "but I'm really feelin' a Shirley temple tonight."

The entire booth falls dead silent. Bucky and Maria stop arguing. Natasha stops not-flirting with Clint. Super-Straight-Because-He-Is-Definitely-Not-In-Lov e-With-Steve-For-Who-Knows-What-Reason Phil stops trying to get Jarvis as interested in knitting patterns as he is. Even Fury's silence—always there, hanging over them like a shadow—seems abnormal.

Tony doesn't even notice at first. "A coke, too. Yeah, that's it! Does anybody want to have a burping contest…with…me… Good lord, what did I say?"

Half of the booth asks at the same time, "What about the alcohol?"

"Oh, wow, okay," Tony says, rolling his eyes. "Tony not drinking himself silly is a sign of the apocalypse, I get it. Well, it's here, because tonight I want coke and Shirley temples."

Loki ignores the pointed glare that Thor is giving Tony, and so does everybody else. That's when the waitress comes around on her roller skates.

I ignore the pointed glare that Thor is giving Tony, and so does everybody else. That's when their usual waitress, named Abby, comes around on her roller skates.

"Oi, nach bhfuil feicthe agam ar an ngrúpa ar fad anseo ó mhí ó shin! Darcy'iarr duine éigin i gcónaí ar laethanta saoire. Tony, fear, a bhfuil an kid nua nach féidir leat a stopadh ag féachaint ar?

Loki and Darcy just blink up at her. Natasha hasn't gotten to Irish in her class yet. Everyone else, though, seems to know exactly what she's saying—even Thor, judging by the glare he's giving her.

Tony blushes at whatever she said before muttering a reply in the same language: "Mac léinn an choláiste."

Steve chuckles before answering in Irish as well: "Ciallaíonn sé a chara buachaill."

"I love all of you guys, I swear," Darcy says in English, "but if you don't speak a language I understand right now then I will cut all of your tongues out."

Everyone smirks except but for Fury and Maria. "What can I get all of you tonight?" Abby asks in heavily accented English.

Ordering is nothing but a party gone wrong with this many people. Thankfully they all just order on one check for the bar's sake, and one of them just pays the whole thing before they get paid back by all of the others. Tony ends up ordering last tonight, and when he gives Abby his order for a glass of coke and a Shirley temple in a swirly glass, she drops the pen she's holding.

"Excuse me?" she says. "What?"

Tony groans. "I hate everybody. Is anybody having a burping contest with me or not?"

When the drinks come along, everybody stares at Tony as he takes his first sip of coke.

"I'm a celebrity!" he says brightly, blowing his straw wrapper over at Sharon. "You'll all _pay_ to watch me drink something non-alcoholic besides coffee and water. This is great."

"So, Loki," Clint says. "What's it like dating the biggest asshole here?"

Loki shrugs, downing one of the two tequila shots he got. "Kind of like swimming in rubbing alcohol. A lot more refreshing than I wish it was."

That actually pulls a laugh from everyone. Everyone but Thor. And after few more minutes of his entire being just _radiating_ hatred, Loki can't take it anymore.

"You, me," Loki growls, pointing at him. "Bar counter. Now."

It's awkward getting out of the booth, but they manage.

"Why are we over here?" Thor asks, refusing to look at him.

"I wanted to know if you'd join a tap-dancing class with me."

That get's him to look at me with a slight frown. "You jest."

"Of course I fucking jest. It's because you're ruining the entire night and it's pissing me off."

Thor frowns deeper, turning away again. "I am unhappy."

"Well can't you keep it to your_self_?"

"It is difficult when one of my closest friends has betrayed me by—"

Loki shuts him up by slapping hand over his mouth. "Liisten, _Thor_. Tony didn't do _anything_. He was just being himself. It wasn't his fault. It never has been. It's always been my own fucking decision, okay? So you can't get mad at him. Get mad at _me_. He didn't betray you, _I_ did."

Thor gives the most painful looking puppy dog eyes in the entire world. Loki starts to drop his hand, but the blonde reaches up and weaves their fingers together.

But Loki just snaps it away, giving him an icy glare. "My decision," he snaps. "Which means I am consciously dating Tony. I know it was just to piss you off for the first hours, but I want it to be more than that now, okay? And I am also choosing _not_ to take you back. You called me a whore, and now you're trying to hold my _hand_? Excuse me, but fuck you."

"Loki, I am trying to apologize. I was angry, but now I understand what you are saying. I do not wish for us to be on bad terms."

"Well we _are_, so how are you going to fix it?"

"You _left_," he grins out.

"My parents _died_."

"You neglected to even call!"

"You did enough of that for _both _of us!"

"And then you had the audacity to change your number so that I could not even leave a message!"

"I didn't want to talk to you!"

"Why _not_? I do not recall every doing any sort of thing to harm you! I _loved _you!"

Loki snorts. "We were fif_teen_. You can't fall in love that young."

"And why _not_?"

"Because nobody ever _has_."

"Are you not the one that is always saying there is a first for everything?"

"You know I stopped saying that as soon as I got the news."

"You left me and my family the moment you heard of the accident. How could I have?"

"You love me, don't you? Aren't you just supposed to _know_?"

"HEY!" an angry voice says beside them, and Loki and Thor snaps their heads over to see Natasha, with Tony hanging a few feet back. "Grow up," she snaps. "The entire bar can hear you."

Loki is off of the counter stool and outside in seconds, fumbling to get his keys out of his pocket until he remembers that his car isn't even here since Steve picked up Darcy and Tony picked up him.

"Loki, wait," Tony says, setting his hands over Loki's when he pulls out his cell phone instead so he can call Jane to come and get him on her motorcycle. "Please don't go."

"I have to," Loki mutters, looking away. "Ever since I showed up I've done nothing but cause trouble to you and the rest of the group."

"I helped."

"At least you didn't mean to at first."

"But I did, didn't I? I've known about Thor's dream to get you back since I met him because he never stops talking about it. I know that you're the only one he's ever loved and that you left without saying goodbye. But I took you anyway because you're hot and I'm selfish as fuck, okay?"

Loki sighs, looking down at him. "Did you know that Natasha told me to keep on eye on you tonight? And now you're drinking soda and fruity things, and _I'm_ the one being an ass."

Tony shrugs. "A taste of my own medicine. Please come back inside."

Loki shakes his head. "It's already awkward enough, and I'll just make it worse. I've screwed everything up since that day I raised my hand to help you in your class. I'm leaving."

"Then I'm coming with you. I ordered _soda_ for fucks sake! I did that so I would remember whatever happened tonight, specifically with you. I like you a lot, okay? You're a sarcastic bastard that's broken hearts just like I have."

Loki frowns.. "I refuse to take that as a compliment."

"Whatever. Just answer me one question. Are we or are we not going to take this relationship seriously? Because I may like you, but Thor is my friend, and I'm realizing that I don't actually want to piss off his two-hundred-plus pounds of muscle."

Loki has the audacity to smile. "I want it to be real, but I don't think Thor is going to take it any better if it is."

"So we'll just fuck on the sidelines?"

"Or we could keep it a secret."

He chuckles. "Look, I've got an idea. We'll make it real and public staring Monday, and whoever has sex the most times with random strangers gets to order the other around all of Monday. Deal?"

I let out a loud laugh, taking his hand to shake it. "I am going to regret this so much."

"Me too. Now come back inside and go find Thor. Last I saw of him he was crying, and let me tell you, it is _scary_ to see a grown man like him break into tears."

Loki's face pales. "He was crying?"

"Shit, yeah, you don't look so good. Hurry up and go apologize to him, would you, _before_ you fall over faint?"

Loki nods, going passed him."

"Hey, hey, is it okay if I hit on Darcy?"

"You can do whatever you want to her as long as you explain to her the deal we have so she doesn't get any big ideas."

"Got it."

When they go inside, most of their booth has dispersed to mingle around the bar. Natasha is dancing with Darcy, Steve with Peggy, P with Happy, and Maria and Bucky are dancing even though they're just having another heated argument about who knows what under their breath. Phil and Fury are even off talking to four people that Loki has never seen before. So the gigantic booth is left to seat Bruce, Clint, Jarvis, Sharon, and Rhodey—in which Clint is sulking as he stares over at Natasha, who Loki can tell is purposely ignoring him. Bruce looks like he's looking that way, too, but not for Natasha… Darcy is one lucky bitch.

But then the five people at the table turn to Loki to give him a look that's torn between being awkward or outright glaring.

"Well _hi_," Clint deadpans, staring up at him. "What brings _you_ to this neck of the woods?"

"Where's Thor?" he asks without hesitation.

Bruce and Rhodey point towards the unisex bathroom door. Unlike the male and females bathrooms, this door locks because there's only one toilet in it.

Loki nods and turns away before they can say anything else, leaving Tony to his own antics.

When he knocks on the door, he gets Thor's voice in not his usual boom, but a timid little thing that Loki has only heard a few times. Once when they were in third grade and the abandoned kitten that they were trying to nurse back to health didn't make it, and a second time in eighth grade when Loki was in the hospital after being hit by a car when on a longboard. More hospitals, of course.

Loki clears his throat before giving a nearly perfect Natasha imitation: "Thor, it's Nat. Loki is looking for you."

"Tell him I do not wish to speak to him!"

"Well, he's not going to leave until you come out and talk to him."

"Then he will be there for a very long time!"

"You can't cry all night, hun. You need him and he needs you. Just get all of this over with, please?"

There's a gigantic sigh and the door clicks open. "Where is Lady Natasha?" Thor asks, looking around Loki in surprise.

Loki points to where she's still dancing with Darcy, now making faces over at Clint. "Come on," he says, holding his hand out to him. "We can share a plate of nachos. You love nachos."

He gives Loki's hand a dark look before taking it, allowing him to pull the blonde back to the same stools at the counter.

"You were pretending to be Lady Natasha," he says, and it's not a question.

"I never have been able to get past you with things like that," Loki says, signaling to the bartender. "A plate of nachos, please, with everything on it. And two glasses of water."

The man nods and goes to do whatever it is he does so that they get their food, so Loki turns back to Thor. "I'm sorry," he says simply. "You had every right to be displeased with me. I didn't say goodbye, I didn't answer your calls or make my own, and then I went so far as to change my number. I had no right."

Thor sighs, looking up at him from where he was staring intently at his hands with that horribly effective puppy dog look. "And _why_ didn't you say goodbye? Were you afraid I would not let you leave?"

"No, I was afraid you would come with me."

Thor frowns. "I no longer understand how this is an apology."

"I'm telling you the truth instead of just bullshitting you, which is why it is."

"You never lie to me anyway, for I see through it every time."

"True, but that's not the point. The point is that, if I could go back, I would, simply to leave a letter of my _leave_. I wish I had said goodbye."

Thor's face brightens by a mere degree. "What is it that you would have said?"

Loki gives the tiniest of shrugs, thanking the bartender when he brings their foot and water, and Thor eats as he explains: "I would have told you why I was leaving, of course. I'd tell you how much I was going to miss you and I'd remind you to finish up your summer homework and read that stupid book I told you too. I'd…" He sighs, looking away and eating a few nachos. "Thinking now, I wish I had just talked to you in person… Let you drive me to the airport and get a kiss goodbye. I didn't know I wouldn't be coming back at that point. I think that's why I just…left. And none of you really realized that I had left before it was too late." I have a few more chips. "I don't remember why I just up and left. I was probably just in a panic."

Thor nods. "Did you have a nice funeral for them?"

"No, it was terrible. There wasn't any ceremony at all; we just buried them and stood there for a while."

"And once the standing around was completed, why then did you not come home?"

Loki looks down at his lap. Anywhere but at him. "I had to start over, and that didn't involve you. I was…frightened, for lack of a better word. I was scared that losing somebody else would mean doing this all over again, and I'm so sick of starting over."

"Seems it was not but a waste of time, seeing as though you are back here again."

They're bathed in silence for a period that's probably too long, but somehow it's comfortable. Loki and Thor are good at that. Most of the time (when they weren't sleeping or making out, and they can't be blamed for doing that most of the time; they were horny teenagers for fucks sake) was spent simply leaning against each other while Loki read a book and Thor…well, he did a lot of things. Homework, video games, Rubik's cubes…all sorts of things.

"Loki?" Thor says at length.

"Mmm?" he replies, looking over at him from the plate of nachos that's basically gone now that Thor's gotten to them.

"Can I…may I hold your hand?"

Loki gives a light smile. "Let me give you the run down, Thor. Starting Monday, Tony and I are going to _officially_ be boyfriends. This weekend we have a sort of bet in which we're seeing who can sleep with the most people. I was just going to sleep with no one and lie to him that I ended up with four. If you hold my hand, I know you're going to kiss me as well, and that's going to lead to any numerous amounts of things. If it's worth it to you, be my guest, but I don't want to hurt you again. I don't want you to wake up and find me gone like all those years ago, okay? Because the moment that I wake up tomorrow I'm going to be gone. You'll see me tonight and that's the end of it."

Thor lets a ghost of a smile shine through. "May I hold both your hands?"

Loki can't help but laugh, because of course Thor would say something like that. "We really need to find you a girlfriend, Thor. Why did you drive in with your truck and not with Steve?"

"I did not believe that I would be staying long enough to become any sort of drunk."

"Well, let's meet back out here in about ten minutes, okay? I have to tell Darcy that I won't be home when she gets there."

Thor nods, and Loki slaps some bills on the counter before finishing his glass of water. Darcy and Natasha aren't dancing anymore, so he makes his way over to Natasha at the booth as she's doing a very intense not-flirt with Clint in which she's going on about "how sore her breasts are in this damn dress".

"Not to interrupt," Loki says as nonchalantly as he can, "but where'd you leave Darcy off at?"

Natasha shrugs. "Somewhere around here. Tony wanted a word with her about something."

Loki nods, going to look for her. He doesn't really care if he interrupts whatever make-out session they're going through anyway. He does want to win, no matter if he's cheating or not.

He eventually finds them tucked away in the back corner of the bar, not making out, but what looks like simply talking. He sneaks over to the booth behind them and just sits there, listening silent:

"It'll be fuuun," Tony sing-songs. "And, hey, I've got to win. I'm Tony fucking Stark, and I do not lose lightly."

Darcy snorts. "That's the problem! I'm trying to play hard to get! Do you have any idea how many people have been hitting on me since showing up here? Don't tell Loki—though he probably already knows, what with that all seeing eye of his…"

Loki smirks.

"Anyway," she continues. "I'm totally into Bruce, okay? And don't give me any of that 'he's not looking' shit, because I am literally the only person he makes eye contact with. I'm waiting for him to ball up the courage, and being with _you_ is going to ruin it. Whenever he does I think I'm going to tell him I've got some random date, though. I love it when he goes all protective dad on me."

Tony chuckles. "Taken the place of yours, has he?"

"Pretty much. I love it, though. He's actually the sweetest guy I know, but he'd never agree with me. He thinks he's so badass all the time, but _you_ haven't seen him with animals.

Loki manages to hold back a groan as Tony says, "Oh yeah, I definitely have to hear about this." Because, yeah, Loki is pretty badass, and those stories are not going to help.

"About a month after he moved in with Jane, Erik, and I—"

"Wait, who's Erik?"

"Oh, he's one of Jane's colleagues. He's kind of…older. He moved in with us, like, a million years ago so he and Jane could work easier, among his being our friend."

"Right, okay, continue."

"Kay, so about a month after Loki moved in with us, our neighbors dumbass Chihuahua got to a litter of wild kittens. There were only three, but they were still so young that their eyes weren't even open. Either way, the damn dog managed to kill two of them, and Loki was literally _bawling_. He buried the dead kittens and took the living one to nurse it back to health. 'Cause you know cats, they won't touch their kids if something else has already gotten to them. But Loki…he was at it with this sort of _passion_ that you don't see very often in him. Kept muttering something about how 'this one's going to be okay' and 'not like the last one, no siree'."

Loki nods to himself, remembering the little guy that he rescued from the stupid dog before he started his sophomore year and stopped remembering things. He named him CC because he looked like a Cookies and Cream bar, but most of the reason was because the last one that he and Thor had found together had been named the Courageous cookie, so CC worked both ways. While he and Thor couldn't save the first one, Loki had the second one good as new after a little while. He couldn't keep him because it was dangerous around Jane's equipment (even a couple grades up, as a senior in high school, she always had these damn science experiments lying around), though, so Loki gave him away to a different pair of neighbors he knew would have taken care of him well.

"And…and this one time," Darcy continues, "we went to the zoo, and he spent twenty minutes mapping about the best location to break into the savannah thing to play with the giraffes—but before he got around to it, he saw that they were letting people play with a baby spider monkey. So he went straight over there and played with the thing for an entire hour. Her name was Trixie, and when the zookeepers tried taking her away from Loki, the little thing started snapping at them! Of course, they got her away anyway, but Loki just hung around in the shadows. Eventually the staff just gave up trying to get Trixie to stop pulling other peoples hair and biting at them and they gave her back to Loki to keep playing with, so that was _another_ hour of time gone by.

"And good _lord_… Nott at the big zoo, but we went to a little petting zoo at a local park! He at least gave passing glances to the sheep with the biggest horns, but he went straight to the horses. Five _hours_, Tony, in his junior year when we all just carpooled around the city because we were one great big happy family. Five hours in which Jane and Erik and I simply took a nap in the middle of a field because he was riding the horses the entire time. His favorite was this black stallion with a white diamond on his face, named Black Beauty. You know, from that horse movie. And…" She sighs. "Both of the zoo things were in his sophomore year, actually, so don't ask him about it."

"He already told me," Tony says quietly. "About what little he remembers and what he was told about by you guys. He probably doesn't remember either of them."

Darcy gasps. "He told you? He actually _told_ you?"

"Yeah, but not happily. I pried it out of him."

Loki can practically _smell_ Darcy's cringe. "Ooh, bad choice. He's really sore about that year."

"He seemed alright in the end…"

She sighs, and Loki has to force himself not to. Tony's right, in any case. Loki was fine in the end, but…he doesn't remember ever going to a zoo in his life. Shame, too, if he played with a baby spider monkey and rode horses for five hours… But, hey, it's his own fault. Shit happens.

So he stands around to stand in front of their table right as Darcy is done being incredulous.

"Well, that's enough of that, anyway," he says.

Tony and Darcy give little gasp/snort things that let Loki know that they really had zero idea about spying on them. Darcy flings her arms around my leg that's closest to her in a sort of hug. "I didn't tell him anything too bad, did I?"

Loki shakes his head. "Animals are fine." He pants her on the head and looks over at Tony. "Before either of you ask, I've been here since you were saying how fun it'd be—so yes, I heard about me being a great overprotective dad."

Tony manages to look guilty as he smirks. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wasn't actually going to sleep with her."

"Oh?" Loki says, looking down at Darcy. And she nods, confirming it. So Loki looks back up at Tony. "Then what were you suggesting would be so much fun?"

Tony sighs, standing up beside him to lean against the table. "I was going to _pretend_ that we had," Tony says. "Because I…well, I was going to lie about it. All of them. Make scenarios up."

Loki is pretty sure, right then, that his heart crumbles. So he leans across the space between them and kisses him full on the mouth. He kisses him back hard, pulling Loki closer to him. Darcy is all but forgotten as he grips onto Loki's hips to grind into him, and Loki throws his arms tightly around his neck.

"I gotta go," Darcy says frantically. Loki doesn't see her face and he hardly even catches her tone because he's too busy pushing Tony up against the small wall between the booth he was spying on them from and the booth he was spying _on_.

"Tony, Tony," he breathes between kisses, pulling his arms from his neck so he can just hold onto his face with his hands. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, it was my bad idea, _I'm_ sorry," he breathes between kisses back, his fingers playing at the part of Loki's shirt around his waist.

"No, I agreed to it, it's my fault too."

"I'm not Thor, Loki."

Loki pulls away and looks at his whole face. "I know that."

"I'm not blonde and my eyes are brown. I'm smaller than you. I'm—"

"Tony, you're thinking too hard. What's wrong?"

He sighs, pulling Loki in for another kiss before he spins them around so that they're sitting in the booth he was in with Darcy. "I'm trying to talk you out of it."

Loki frowns, pushing him up against the wall at the far end of the booth. "Whatever for?"

"Remember when I told you that the relationship that I had with Pepper ended pretty well?"

Loki kisses him again. "Yes. Why?"

"I lied. We didn't talk for a year."

Loki sighs, pulling away to sit beside him instead of nearly straddling him. "And are you going to tell me about it?"

"She told me I'm not allowed to tell anybody."

"Then just forget about it. It happened a long time ago, right? And…you're different now, right?"

He snorts. "Hardly. I'm still an asshole. In fact, after the breakup I'm pretty sure I got _worse_. You see, she was the closest thing to me and I totally blew it, and now I'm probably going to blow it with you. I don't want to just send you back to Thor after all of this, but I feel like I should. Because I want you to be happy, and being with me will only do that for a while because I'm _impossible_ to live with. I really am, ask Bruce. He had to when he was looking for an apartment and he's refused to ever since."

Loki scoots closer to him again. "That's okay," he says with a ghost of a smile. "I can live with anybody. Jane and Erik up at wee hours of the night doing all sorts of experiments. Darcy being Darcy and Thor being Thor. And I know how you live; your fucking rooster alarm clock that you say you need to change even though you're never going to. Your pathetically long showers. The fact that you don't actually exercise but have the body of a god. How picky you are with your food and your clothes and with _everything else_. I know that, okay? Worst case we don't talk for two years and I drop out of your class. Best case we take advantage of New York's equality rights."

Tony sputters. "Marriage? _What_?"

"Lord, no, not yet!" Loki rolls his eyes. "It hasn't even been an entire year yet. Geez."

He lets out a breath. "Oh thank the lord. I am _so_ not ready for marriage."

"No, I'm not either. Not even kind of."

"Good, good…"

They sit in silence for a little too long, and it's not near as comfortable as it would be with Thor, considering what they're actually thinking about.

And then Loki and Tony speak at once:

"But, I mean, if we did—"

"If it ended up that way, though—"

They pause and laugh at each other.

"Me first," Loki says. "I'm taller."

He rolls his eyes. "What a reason. Go ahead."

"Do you like kids?"

He tries to hold back the choking noise, but it barrels out of his mouth anyway.

I burst into laughter. "Thank goodness. I hate kids."

He puts a hand over his forehead in a mock motion. "Thank goodness is _right_. I don't think I could raise them right, you know? They'd end up even worse than me, and anyone worse than me shouldn't be allowed to live."

Loki nods. "I wholeheartedly agree. Can you imagine someone being raised by _us_? What an asshole."

"Well, they'd be really smart, in any case."

Loki nods again. "What do you think about names, though?"

He shrugs. "I've never really thought about it. Nothing that starts with a 'T'. Grant, maybe, or Indigo or something."

Loki is about to answer with his own name ideas, but he freezes. "Oh _shit_!" he says. "I forgot about Thor!"

Tony frowns. "What about him?"

"I was going to—I mean, not really, it was just—oh, never mind. I told him I would meet him at his truck in ten minutes, and that was who _knows_ how long ago!"

"Well, let's go!" Tony says, pushing at him. "I'll help you find him."

"Good lord, no, he'll break you in half. Let's go get Darcy instead; she'll know where he is."

They all but fall out of the booth before they scramble up and over to the booth that everybody else is at. Well…"everybody else. The group is different now; just Bruce and Jarvis, because Natasha is teasing Clint with a dance and Rhodey must have talked Sharon into a platonic dance or something.

"Do you guys know where Darcy is?" Loki asks.

"She ran out the door nearly ten minutes ago," Bruce says, pointing towards the main towards. "After Thor."

"Shit," Loki breathes, running off before he hears anything else.

"I'll be here!" Tony calls after him.

"Right!" he calls back, bursting outside and running straight to where Thor usually parks. But the truck is gone.

"Shit," he breathes again, pulling his phone out and dialing Darcy's number.

"_Hey, dude, you really screwed up,"_ Darcy says as soon as she answers.

Loki groans. "What happened?"

"_He came in to find you because you were taking so long and instead found you guys having a hard make out session. That's why I said that I had to go so quickly, idiot."_

He groans again. "Well, I did tell him that it wouldn't actually mean anything…"

"_I know, but he was hoping he could get it to."_

"Well, he's an idiot. The last time I slept with him he called me a whore."

"_But you were going to sleep with him again anyway?"_

"You know the deal Tony and I had. I had to win. I was just going to bullshit my way through it like he was, but then Thor got to me and…well, anyway."

"_Yeah, ANYWAY. He's with Jane right now."_

Loki frowns. "He's not with you?"

"_Naw, I just drove with him to our place. He's going to spend the weekend with Jane or something."_

"Isn't this the first time he's actually _met_ her?"

"_Yup."_

He starts to say something, but he stops and says something else instead. "Darcy! Darcy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

She's silent for a moment. _"Loki, you're going to get yourself killed thinking like that."_

"But it could _work_! We both know that Jane would _love_ him; she'd have someone who actually cared about her work and who she could teach it to!"

"_Then…I guess Thor's perfect for the job."_

"Exactly. We'll let them figure it out on their own, but if it takes more than a month I'm going to make them go see a romantic movie or something."

"_Sounds great to me!"_

"I know. Where are _you_, by the way?"

"_Driving back to the bar."_

"YOU ARE TALKING ON YOUR CELL PHONE AND DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE AT THE SAME TIME DARCY LEWIS THAT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING I HAVE EVER—"

"_Oh shush, I'm using the phone in the red helmet."_

Loki sighs. "Good lord, you're going to give me a heart attack. There's hardly any static at all with that thing. How far away are you?"

At that precise moment she wheelies into the parking lot and swerves into a spot beside him. He rolls his eyes and pockets his phone.

"Show off," he mutters when her helmet is off.

She just smirks at him and pulls out a set of keys he doesn't recognize. "Come and put this helmet away with me."

"How is he?" I ask as we walk over to the big—"Good _lord_!" he sputters. "It's painted like a giant American flag!"

"Yup," she says. "Phil and Steve are really patriotic and shit. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten beat up or something. Only on the fourth of July does everybody pretend they don't hate our country."

"Speak for yourself," Loki mutters. "_I_ was born in _London_."

"Yeah, but you were _raised_ in New York, which is about as far from British as you're going to get."

When the helmet is safely inside, they walk back inside the bar, and Loki goes over to the booth while Darcy goes over to Steve to give his keys back.

"What did I miss?" Loki asks, sliding into the booth. Now all of Natasha, Clint, Fury, Phil, Rhodey, and Sharon have joined the booth.

"Not much," a few of them say at once.

"Where'd Thor run off to?" a few more ask.

"He's with Jane," Loki says as Darcy slides in beside him.

"Who's Jane?" a different few more asks.

"She lives with us," Darcy says, looking over at Bruce. "You know, the scientist I told you about."

"Ah," he says, looking straight back at her before taking a drink of…whatever he's drinking.

"So what happens now?" Tony asks.

Loki shrugs. "According to Darcy, Thor's going to spend the weekend with Jane. What time is it?"

"Probably time that we all go home, actually," Steve says, appearing beside the table. "Are you guys ready to go?"

Everybody gives sounds of agreement, so all of them slide out of the booth to gather up the others.

"Are you going home with Tony tonight?" Darcy asks Loki as she grabs her helmet from the van (what a waste of putting it away) before everybody piles inside and buries it.

"Well, I'm certainly not going _home_ tonight," Loki mutters. "Not with Thor there."

"It's a good thing I drove, then," Tony says, showing up beside him and slipping his arm around his waist. "You can stay at my place for the weekend."

"Sounds good to me," Loki replies, slinging an arm over his shoulder. "Do you think you could get some of my things together?" he asks Darcy. "I can swing by tomorrow and pick them up. I don't want to be there longer than I have to."

She nods. "Yeah, no problem. Text me when you're coming over."

"Deal."

_**-END of PART I-**_

* * *

Notes: Remember what I said about Fury talking to four mysterious looking people with Phil? Well I never write it in the fic, but those are actually the council members. They're just old friends in the actual plotline, but yeah.

**XxXxXxX**

References: So, that whole Irish speaking thing? For those of you who don't know Irish or who didn't go to Google Translate like I did because I don't know it either, here are the translations!  
1. The translation of the words said by Abby the waitress: "Hey, I have not seen the group all here since a month ago! Someone is always on vacation. Tony, man, who is the new kid you can't stop looking at?"  
2. The translation of Tony's answer: "College student."  
3. And Steve's translation: "He means his boyfriend."  
And, knowing Google translate, the translations are actually a bit wonky, so bare with me here.


	6. Part II, Chapter I

**Part II: Everybody Else**

**Part II, Chapter I: Bucky and Maria**

[Part III, Chapter 2 summary: In which nobody likes listening to arguments except Jane and Thor, Maria wears high heels, and Bucky is known so well by a certain someone that she even knows which cupboard he keeps his popcorn in without ever having been to his house.]

_MARIA…_

Maria loves books. She loves them so much she owns a store for them, and her little shop is scented with her favorite scent: lilies. That's why she's named her shop SHIELD Books.

_Soft cover.  
Hard cover.  
Into worlds unseen.  
Every corner.  
Lily scented.  
Don't you want to read?_

It's actually an acronym. Line up each sentence with a letter and that's what you get.

She has two employees in her store: James "Bucky" Barnes, a man she's known for quite some time and hates at the same time loves, and recently Jane Foster, a sweet woman who Maria only gets along with because she's always buying the merchandise. Maria doesn't like sweet people. She likes people who get on her case and have debates with her and tell her that something should be done better.

That's why Maria knows she's in love with Bucky. And what kind of a name is that, anyway? _Bucky_. It sounds like something you would name a fucking chipmunk. But in any case, Maria knows she's in love wit him, and she has known for the last eight months. She keeps it to herself, though, because…well, how does anybody tell someone that you love them? Besides, she happens to be very self-conscious, and Tony will make fun of her. Hell, _Bucky_ will make fun of her! He will even if he does love her back, which Maria really doesn't think he does. He could, but with all the arguing…well, most people don't fall in love with the one everyone else things they hate.

So Maria just stares at Bucky, and when people are looking she glares at him. That's usually what she's doing anyway…glaring at him. He's always pushing her buttons. Most people just do whatever their boss tells them to do, like Jane, but Bucky…well, Maria's not sure if that's just how he'd be anywhere else as well or if it's just because _she's_ the boss.

Jarvis became friends with Phil, who was already friends with Fury, who was already friends with Maria, and that's how the three of them started going out to drinks with the giant group of professors. Then came all of the other members' friends, and more and more came until there were _far_ too many of them. And when Bucky came, he was looking for a job. Maria used to have somebody else work for her, but she couldn't stand that man (and that's saying a lot, because she can stand a lot of people; she doesn't like them, but she can stand them). So she hired Bucky before firing the other guy. She only needed one employee at the time, so that's all she had—excluding herself, of course. Now she's got two, because her shop has been picking up business lately, but not enough for two _full_ time employees.

So everything's great for Maria, really. She has two jobs that both involve books, the man she loves works for her, and she's able to go out with her friends whenever she wants. Except Tony…he's not a friend. And Maria doesn't exactly like the others most of the time either, but that's what she has Fury for. Which is who she's with right now, talking to him about the latest smartass college student in his class as she has a bit of an elbowing war with Bucky for space since they're sitting beside each other.

Finally she can't take it anymore, so she whirls to face him. "Would you scoot _over_?" she snaps.

"Why don't _you_ scoot over?" he snaps back.

"Because _I'm_ sitting by Fury, and _he _doesn't move to give people like _you _any space!"

"Well Rhodey's sitting by Sharon, and _she _won't move for _you_!"

"Yes I will," Sharon says, rolling her eyes as she scoots closer to Peggy by a couple of inches, Rhodey following after.

Bucky glares around the table before scooting over as well, and Maria gives him a snooty look before continuing on her conversation with Fury. But _then_ she's having trouble with her foot space…

"Oh _honestly_!" she spits, looking back over at him. "_Must_ you be all over me?"

"All over _you_?" Bucky snaps. "As _if_. _You're_ all over _me_!"

"GOOD LORD!" Peggy roars. "Why do you two even _sit_ by each other anymore?"

"Because nobody ever tells us to move!" Maria and Bucky snap back in sync.

"Well _I'm_ telling you to move!" Tony yells, lifting up his arm to throw a fork. Loki grabs it before he can, though, whispering something about his poor aim and the likelihood that he'll throw it over the booth and hit a stranger.

"Fine!" Maria snaps, and Bucky adds, "We'll just go dance, away from all of _you_."

It's always awkward crawling out of the booth when you're not on the edge, but Maria manages. Bucky not so much, because Fury has to get out for him, and Fury hates moving for anyone but Maria.

"And good riddance to you too," Darcy says, sticking her tongue out at them (she recently got together with Bruce; they were going to keep it a secret for a little while, but Tony figured out and told Steve, and Steve told Bucky and…well, it just got worse from there).

"Don't be immature, or we've _all_ lost," she mutters to him.

"Oh, _I'm_ immature?" he says, walking out to the floor with her.

"Yes," she says, taking his hand before they spin into a step that doesn't at all reflect the music. "You're pathetic."

"Well you listen _here_ miss _perfect_!"

Maria rolls her eyes, ready for another argument.

Even aside from the constant battles, Maria and Bucky have a confusing sort of relationship. They can insult each other as much as they like and they'll never really take it to heart, but as soon as anybody else gets on one of them, the other is there to help. When Tony is being rude to Maria, Bucky is there to snap at him. When Steve is reprimanding Bucky for doing some stupid thing, Maria tells him off before turning to Bucky to tell him off herself. But it's okay when _she_ yells at him. At least it's okay in her perspective, which she's pretty sure means Bucky is okay with it too. They like most of the same things, and they have most of the same opinions…they just manage to get into spats about every single thing known to man—and aliens, too. They've argued about spaceships and other UFO things at least four times.

A few seconds of silence after the argument (because that's all silence ever is between them. A few seconds), Bucky comments on Maria's shoes:

"Why do never wear heels out to things like this? You only ever wear flats or flip flops or something."

Maria frowns. "Is there something _wrong_ with my flats?"

"No, I just think you should wear heels because you're short."

"I am not! You're just tall!"

"Steve and Thor are taller than me!"

"Well _they're_ taller than _every_body!"

"I'm just saying that you should wear some heels!"

"And who are _you_ to tell me what I should wear?"

"The only one who _should_ tell you what to wear!"

"Oh? _You_ work for _me_."

"Well you _pay_ me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well not anymore! You're _fired_."

"So I no longer work for you?"

"NO."

"Then that means I'm allowed to do _this_."

Even though his voice was harsh and angry, his hands are gentle as they latch onto Maria's sides and pull her even closer to him, and his lips are soft as they meld to hers. She's frozen for a moment. Maria's fired Bucky more times than she cares to count (though all of those times without any real meaning to them, of course; Bucky's an amazing employee, and even beneath all that annoying charisma he loves to read), but Bucky has _never_ replied to being "fired" like this before.

So Maria does what she does best. She pushes back and glares at him. "Oh, you think you can just _kiss me_ and I'll wear heels for you?"

His face falls. "What? No, I—"

"Well you can forget about _dancing_." She yanks away from him completely, stomping back over to the table. "Fury!" she snaps.

He picks up and hands her purse to her right away, and she slaps some bills down for her one drink before stomping out, wishing to god that she didn't read so often. If she didn't, she wouldn't be near as good at hiding herself away.

**OoOoOoO**

_BUCKY…_

Bucky watches her go. He just stands there in the middle of the dance floor, watching Fury hand over her purse before she stomps out.

Steve is beside him a few seconds later, just standing there. Bucky used to be taller than his best friend…but when he came back from college, Steve had done some _serious_ working out.

"What's wrong with me, Steve?" Bucky asks quietly, still looking at the door.

"Bucky, nothing's wrong with you," Steve says. "You just happened to fall in love with the hardest woman to get."

"I don't know, it'd be pretty hard for me to get Sharon."

"Not if I were straight," she says, showing up on Bucky's other side. "Care for a dance while we talk? Steve would suggest it, but that would be—"

"Too weird," Bucky finishes with a sigh, pushing his hands into his pockets. "Thanks, Share, but I think I'm just going to go home. Thor's going to be going to work with Jane tomorrow, so I should get some sleep to make sure he doesn't break anything."

"I think they'll be fine," Steve says. "That dame he's been hanging around—"

"Jane," Sharon corrects. "Her name is Jane."

"Yeah, her, I think having her around is good for us all. It actually makes everything a lot less awkward now that Loki is with Tony."

"And boy was _that_ weird at first…" Sharon chuckles. "Tony doesn't _date_ people. I think Loki's good for him. He's still an asshole, but at least Loki tells him off when he doesn't do it right."

"And he brought Darcy, who's _great_ for Bruce. He's so shy he could use a spunky dame like her. They're perfect."

Bucky sighs, pulling out his wallet to hand some bills for his one drink. "I know you guys are just trying to help and all," he says, putting his wallet back in his pocket, "but it's not helping at all. Thanks anyway, though."

"Yeah," they sigh. "You're welcome."

Bucky leaves.

**XxX**

The next morning, Bucky is awoken to the specific ringtone that he put on Maria's contact. He just hums along at first, but then he realizes that yeah, he should probably answer it.

"Hello?" he says cautiously.

"Are you going to work today?"

That's all she says. Nothing about last night.

"I was going to."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't go to work. I'm going to work and I don't want to see you." And she hangs up.

Oh.

Bucky is up and getting ready right away. He showers before throwing on the nicest casual clothes he has, grabbing his keys and hopping into his little old Ford Ranger. On the way, he stops by the local flower shop and buys a bouquet of lilies, with a single rose pushed into the middle.

He waits across the street of SHIELD Books until he sees Maria's black BMW drive into the back of the shop, where the employee's park and where, very rarely, costumers park when the front is all filled up.

As soon as he can see her walking around inside through the window, maybe but probably not talking to the figures of Thor and Jane, he hops out of his truck with the flowers concealed behind his back as best as they can be and jogs across the street, bursting into the front door of the store.

Jane and Thor give him a warm welcome, but Maria just stares at him.

And he stares back, tongue frozen, because she's wearing a pair of beautiful blue high heels.

Bucky's never seen Maria blush before, trying to shuffle her feet behind the nearest bookshelf.

"I bought you flowers," Bucky finally manages to say, and Jane elbows Thor before taking his arm and pulling him behind a different shelf to leave him and Maria alone.

"Waste of money," Maria mutters, but Bucky can tell that her heart is soaring.

"I'll…I'll get a vase," he says, walking towards her to get passed her to the back room.

"No," she says, holding her hand out so that it presses against his chest and stops him. "I don't want them."

He smirks just the tiniest little bit, reaching to pull the rose out of the middle. "You sure? These things are ten bucks each at fancy restaurants."

She snorts angrily, crossing her arms and turning away. "Like _flowers_ would help."

Bucky sighs, putting the rose back into the middle. "Was it really that bad?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

"And that should matter to me _why_?"

Bucky's going to explode. "You know what? Fine." He sets the flowers on the counter beside him. "You can throw them away, burn them, do jumping jacks on them, or whatever the hell else you can think of. I'm taking today off like you _told_ me to." And he turns around, stomping towards the door. It's only luck that there happen to be no costumers right now, or all the stares would be extremely awkward as he's about to walk out.

"Bucky?"

He sighs, debating whether or not to just keep walking. But he couldn't do that.

"Yeah?" he says, turning back around.

"We won't stop arguing, will we?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I take the flowers, will you keep arguing with me?"

Bucky frowns, walking back over to the counter. "Maria, we argue about _everything_. There's no way we could _ever_ stop."

"Even if I kissed you back?"

"Why would you do that?"

She frowns. "Are you putting yourself down?"

"What? No, that was a legitimate question. Just because everybody _else_ puts me down doesn't mean I'll do it myself."

"Well you're always putting _me_ down!"

"But I don't actually _mean_ those things!"

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah _right_."

"Okay, so I mean _some_ of the things. Like when I talk about the fact that you only wear flats. Well…" He looks down at her shoes, pushing lightly at them with his own big combat boots he's always wearing. "Not today."

She blushes again. "I've had them a long time. Do you like them?"

"They match your fingernail polish."

"But do you _like_ them?"

"Yeah, they're beautiful. They match the bright blue dress Darcy wore to school one day."

"Oh, they remind you of _Darcy_?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant! It just crossed my mind!"

"And nothing about _me_ crossed your mind?"

"EVERYTHING MAKES YOU CROSS MY MIND."

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE FOR BRINGING UP ANOTHER WOMAN WHILE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT _US_."

"I'Maria A GUY I DON'Tony THINK BEFORE I SPEAK."

"OBVIOUSLY NOT YOU BOW-BRAINED TW—"

Bucky kisses her again, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and dipping her slightly backwards. She throws her arms around his neck, dipping even lower in their passion. The only reason they pull away (Bucky looking up and Maria dropping her neck to look at the world upside down) is because there's a dainty giggle and a hearty laugh.

Of course Thor and Jane are spying. It'd be hard not to, even for Bucky. Especially for Bucky.

"Want to come find a vase with me?" Bucky asks, looking back down at Maria, trying not to make it obvious that he's staring at her neck.

"As in going into the back room?"

"As in I'm inviting you to take a day off with me."

She frowns a little bit, and they straight out, though they keep their arms around each other. "But it gets busy on Saturday."

"Fine. You stay here and I'll pick you up for lunch and dinner!"

"Only if I get to pay for dinner."

"Hey now, you are _not_ going to be the dominant character of this relationship."

"Yeah? Watch me!"

"Oh, you _wish_ I would watch you! Maybe I'll just go have dinner by my_self_."

She snorts. "You haven't been out to dinner by yourself in _years_."

"What? Yes I have! A week ago last Thursday!"

"Yeah? What'd you have?"

"Pizza."

She smirks. "Are we getting that vase or not?"

He nods, letting her go so he can snatch up the flowers.

"Jane?" she says, turning back to her and Thor. "I need you to hold down the fort with Mr. Thunder Lungs for a while."

She smiles brightly, both her and Thor coming out of "hiding". "I can do that all day!" she says. "You guys go have fun!"

"Oh no, I couldn't. Saturday is the busiest day. You probably need _both_ of us here."

She scoffs. "I'll make Steve come down and help. You won't even have to pay him; we all know how into volunteer work he is."

Bucky smiles, putting the hand not holding onto the flowers over her mouth before she keeps talking. "Thanks, Jane," he says with a smile, towing Maria towards the back door. "I owe you…whatever you want. But don't suggest it now. Think about it and make me regret agreeing to it." They're out of the door before Jane can answer.

"Where did you park?" Maria asks, looking around.

"Across the street," he says. "Meet me at my place."

"Your place? Bucky, you live with Sharon and Rhodey when he's on leave."

"But _you_ live with Fury! I'm okay with being caught by a lesbian and a guy who's going to be leaving in two weeks, but a big black guy with an eye patch is _not okay_."

She smirks. "At least my roommates don't take pictures."

He groans. "Sharon is weird, okay? You just gotta go with it sometimes. At least my two gets along with people."

"At least _mine_ doesn't get into my personal space. Fury and I don't talk about people we're in love with or anything of the sort."

Bucky tilts his head. "You love me?"

She blushes again, looking down at the ground. "No?"

He smiles, tilting her chin back up. "Fine. Your place."

She sighs, pulling her chin away so she can turn away. "This is what I was worried about. You're not arguing with me anymore."

"Tell you what. One day of doing…whatever _you_ want. And then I'll argue with you till the sun goes down. But for today, your place, my lunch, your dinner, and everything in between. Deal?"

"No."

"No? What kind of answer is that? It's a perfect deal!"

She smiles. "Deal. Bring the flowers." And she's off, smirking at him as she drives past.

"Condoms!" Bucky exclaims, taking care of the flowers as he runs across the street to his car. "And chocolate! Everybody likes chocolate. Especially women. Especially me…" He smirks at himself as he drives out of the parking lot.

That's when he gets twp text messages from Maria in her always perfect grammar and spelling: **Condoms & chocolate already at my place. Grab extra pair clothes to stay over and the popcorn in your top left cupboard. We're watching a movie.**

Bucky nearly crashes his truck as he swoons. **U dont even kno how much i luv u.**

Next thing he knows, Maria's ringtone is playing.

"You are not seriously calling to get on my case about my spelling," he says instantly. "I'm just _lazy_, okay? You're going to make me crash if you—"

"Bucky, shut up. Do you really?"

"Maria, you know I don't lie to you."

"Yes you do."

"Okay, you know I don't lie to you unless I know you're going to see through it."

"I haven't seen through this one yet."

"Then it's not a lie, is it?"

She takes a deep breath. "Forget the clothes and popcorn. Just get over here."

"Nah, I think I'll make you wait."

"Bucky!"

"Alright, alright, keep your shirt on until I get there, geez."

"I love you, Bucky."

Bucky stops breathing, and a moment later these's a blaring horn as he swerves back onto his side of the road. "Okay, okay, Maria, I love you too—and I mean that from the bottom of my heart—but I'm seriously going to crash if I keep talking to you while driving."

"It's okay, I'm driving too. Except I'm on my Bluetooth."

"You're trying to kill me, I know it."

"Not until you get to my place I'm not."

"Good_bye_, Maria."

"Bye!"

"I love you."

"And I can't _wait_ until you show me how much."

As soon as she's hung up, Bucky breaks who knows how many laws to get to his place for extra clothes and popcorn and _then_ to drive to her place to make sure that he gets there in the same amount of time it would have taken him if he had just gone straight to her place.

She's already leaning against the door frame, smirking at him as he hops up the steps two at a time to get her into his already filled arms.

As soon as the door is shut behind them, though, Bucky needs both of his hands. So the popcorn, the clothes, and the bouquet of lilies with the single rose are dropped to the floor, forgotten for the rest of the day.


	7. Part II, Chapter II

**Part II, Chapter II: Thor and Jane**

[Part III, Chapter 3 summary: In which everyone likes eavesdropping, Tony's a bad little boy, Thor sucks it up, Jane isn't a crutch, and even the costumers know it.]

_JANE…_

Jane's only kissed one person before, and that was nothing but a dare. She knows Thor's kissed people before. Yeah, she knows he's kissed quite a few. Whether he was drunk, lonely, bored, or anything in between, he has. He's only ever slept with _one_ person before, though, and that person is Loki, because Thor believes in only sleeping with the one you love—more extensively, only sleeping with one person _ever_. Jane is okay with that. She's still a virgin and would much rather save herself for marriage anyway. She respects Thor for his decisions.

"I think they're perfect for each other," Jane says to Thor as she rings up a costumer."

"Bucky and Lady Maria?" Thor asks.

"No, Bucky and _Steve_!" Tony snaps from somewhere else in the store.

And again somewhere else is Loki: "Tony, what have I told you about sarcasm?"

Tony sighs. "To be used effectively, it should not be snapped, nor should it be easily noticed. To be noticed is only alright when you're not trying to be rude or it is on someone who has brains like us, who have earned the privilege to simply know."

"That's my boy."

Jane gives a good-natured eye roll, turning to smile up at Thor and then smiling even brighter when he's smiling as well. It was a long shot asking Loki and Tony over to help out, but with Darcy working for Pepper on weekends and Steve already at the fire department, they were really the only ones Jane knew well enough to ask. Of course she asked Thor if it would be alright if he invited the couple, and he honestly didn't seem to care that much. Bruce is here as well thanks to Tony's asking, and he's definitely the best so far. He's already rung a few people up at the cash register, and how he knows where everything is already is beyond Jane, because he's almost always the one to show a costumer where a certain book is. Jane would invite him over to talk to Thor and her about whatever it is they bring up, but he's reading something and texting at the same time (probably Darcy, who really shouldn't be texting at the job she's got), so she'll leave him to his own.

_He's getting so much better_, Jane thinks about Thor, bidding a costumer farewell before taking the next person in line. _But not quite good _enough_. A few more weeks and I'll have him. Two months oughta do the trick for him—maybe not if it was anybody else, but Thor is…well, he's different._

Jane doesn't love him, but she definitely sees herself beginning to. She knows all the other people in their group are trying to get them together (even Fury, which she learned thanks to Darcy, who heard it from Loki, who heard from Steve, who heard form from Bucky, who heard from Maria, who heard it from Fury's very own mouth), but she also knows it's mostly because they want Thor to be over Loki. But Jane wants everyone to want them to get together because for a _better_ reason. One like how they would actually get along, or anything along those lines. She doesn't just want to be used like that. Which is shy she's texting Loki and Tony whenever she's not ringing anybody up…

**Does it even make sense?** she asks.

**How couldnt it?** Loki replies, though she knows that it's Tony's answer as well.

Jane sighs, quick going through with Thor all of the things she told him about ringing somebody up at the cashier. Usually she'd wait and watch his first time to make sure he did it right, but Thor's actually a very fast learner. Besides, he's been asking questions all morning and greeting the costumers and just all around being a tall and attractive blonde that will be fine on his own for a while. So she goes off with a cart of new books that came in that she needs to organize.

**Come here**, she sends.

Tony and Loki appear a moment later, and Loki gives Tony a stack of books before telling him to scamper off and put them in the children's section—and to put them in _alphabetical order by author and then book title._

Tony frowns. "But I want to be here to talk about this with you guys."

Loki smirks. "You know I'll tell you all about it later."

"But I want to help!"

"Tony, I've known Jane for a long time. I'm the only one that can help right now."

Tony sighs/groans. "Fiiiine." As he turns around, Loki pinches his butt, and when he looks back over at Jane he has one of those "I'm so in love I could puke" faces—to which he immediately realizes he's not alone for and goes back to his usual poker face kind of look.

"Jane," Loki says seriously as Tony has gone, "I think it will work. You're both very traditional, and you're both passionate about what you're doing—no matter what it is, even if you hate it. You're on opposite spectrums when it comes to brains and body type, but you see many things the same. For example…" He pulls a book off of a shelf and holds it flat in his hands. "If there was a glass sitting on top of this, what would you do?"

Jane takes the book and puts it back while saying, "I would take the glass off so it wouldn't leave a ring before putting it away."

"See? Exactly what Thor would do. He'd make a booming comment about the filthy nave that sought to damage such literature before he drank whatever was in the glass and then moved to put the book back in its rightful place. Granted, you would never _think_ about drinking an unknown liquid from an unknown person's glass, but Thor will because he can't get sick. He's had every shot known to man and was born with the immune system of…well, himself. I can get sick pretty often, but never once have I seen _him_ sick.

"And that's important too! He's very good at taking the place as a housewife. When his mother was sick and his father had to work, he stayed home from school to be with her. He made soup, made the other meals, cleaned—and all with stayed in near silence. He'd be a brilliant husband."

Jane sighs, letting her brain soak in all of Loki's words. "But you're always telling Tony that he wouldn't be good with _you_ anymore. Why is that? Why doesn't it work that way anymore?"

"Thor's too different," Loki says right away, like he's practiced this. "For most people the whole opposites attract thing works great, but for me…" He sighs, crossing his arms. "We only dated for two years, and we had to keep it a secret from our parents for those years. That's why we only had sex three times; we had to be sure we wouldn't get caught. But all that time I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was using him or something… I know I wasn't. I loved him to death. He was my best friend, my brother, my everything all rolled into one and I needed that.

"But I would piss him off sometimes, and he wouldn't show it, but I'm not stupid. I'd do something mean to someone or I'd cheat on our gym tests and he wouldn't like it—but seriously, gym tests? What a waste of time. Some of us aren't built for running or weight lifting or agility things, and they're going to dock points because of how our bodies are made? Assholes. Thor's the best gym teacher I've ever heard of. He grades you on participation and _progress_. You take on big test at the beginning, and how you do on the next tests is how you're graded. It's _individual_.

"Anyway! Now I need…Tony. I need Tony because he's like me. We can laugh about the same things and make fun of the same movies. Thor and I have a completely different sense of humor, taste in music, taste in clothes and movies and _everything_. We wouldn't argue about anything unless it was _really_ bad, but we'd always want to even for the little things. And I _hate_ arguing. I like getting things done fast and effectively. Thor likes taking things slow so he has fun while he does it. I don't care about _fun_. I just like getting things done. That's why Tony's perfect for me and Thor is _not_. That's why he's perfect for you, and I'm perfect for Tony."

Jane smiles, picking up a pile of books. "Thank you, Loki. I really needed to hear all of that."

"Anytime, Jane. You've been my mom since I was fifteen, after all. It's the least I could do."

"I should be getting back to the front desk. Do you think you could put these away for me?"

"Of course."

**OoOoOoO**

_THOR…_

Thor sighs, looking down at Anthony (who sighs twice, once happy and then once awkwardly as he looks up at Thor) in their hiding place on the other side of Loki and Lady Jane. They hear Jane walk back towards the front desk where Bruce is running the cash register, and the next thing they know Loki is spinning around and leaning against the shelf between Thor and Anthony.

"Do you understand now, Thor?" he asks quietly. "Why it can never be _us_ again?"

Thor sighs, looking to his left, where he will not have to see either member of the happy couple. "Yes," he says.

"Leave the lying to me, hun."

"But I do understand, Loki. I just…do not like it. I did not, though, know I was in any way a fancy to Lady Jane."

"Well hey, now that you do," Anthony says, "maybe you could ask her out on a date!"

Thor and Loki turn to glare at Anthony together, making the man give a sheepish grin before he goes around the corner of the shelf, probably to put the books on the cart away.

"Did you put the others away right?" Loki asks him through the shelf.

"Yup," he replies. "You can check yourself when you're done with the big guy."

"I will." He turns back to Thor. "You could, you know."

Thor sighs. "I do not think it would be by any means appropriate. Though you laid out very well the reasons for a relationship between us to be a healthy one, I do not feel it right to use Lady Jane in such a manner."

"Use her? Thor, she knows everybody is trying to get you two together just so you'll get over me. And look, she's _promoting_ it. She wants to get with you, but she's afraid of when you'll be ready."

"But I do not feel it is right!"

"Thor, did you not heard a word I said? She's perfect for you! I need you to see that. You and I will never be _anything_ ever again, do you understand me? Now, she likes you, and she's willing to put up with you just so you're happy again. I know you, and I know that if you weren't stuck one me that you'd like her as well. You just have to _let yourself_."

Thor sighs again, running a hand through his hair. He has been wearing it in a ponytail a lot lately, but today he has let it flow over his shoulders. He had it up just to get it out of the way, but he knows that Jane likes it down…

"And I know that look, too," Loki says, elbowing Thor so that the blonde looks down. "You want to like her too, but you don't know how. Just do it. Don't think. It'll be easy."

Thor sighs _again_, wishing to all the gods that Loki had just _stayed_ all those years ago… "Help me," he says, stepping away from the shelf so that he can face Loki head on. "Tell me what to say."

Loki gives Thor the smirk that he's kept with him his whole life. The one that Thor loves and detests at the same time. Loki's signature smirk. "You're sure?"

"I must be."

"Then listen well…"

**OoOoOoO**

_JANE…_

When Jane had made it back to the desk, it was Bruce and not Thor manning the register. Now Bruce is back by the door with his own book, and just as Jane is going to start reading one of her own books she bought here about thunder storms and stars making way for a sort of other dimensional loop (the third volume in a five volume set), Tony pops up beside her on the same side of the front desk as her.

"Hey, hey, put that down," he says, putting in her bookmark and shutting the book.

"Tony!" Jane scolds. "I was reading that!"

"Not anymore!" He pulls out his cell phone and pulls up a tape recorder app. "I just spied on our boyfriends and—"

"Thor isn't my boyfriend."

"Well he's going to be. Shush and listen to this." He fast forwards a bit and then presses play, and Jane listens to a conversation between Thor and Loki in which she's not sure how to react.

"It was rude of you to record them like that," she eventually says.

"Geez, you are perfect for Thor. It's sickening. Anyways, I did it for you, and you listened, so don't get mad at _me_. Right now Loki's teaching your blondie over there the best way to ask someone out on a first date, among other things, though I'm pretty sure he's just going to botch the whole thing. The thing is, though, I try not to be a total asshole to people who don't deserve it in the least, and you are definitely Exhibit A in that aspect. So I'm showing you this so you don't make a mistake. I want you and Thor to get together—trust me, it will be awesome to stop feeling guilty about something so stupid. So when he asks you I _want_ you to say yes, but I also want you to have it fair. I want you to know that the first while with you guys as a couple will just be him finding a way to forget about Loki. I know you know that, but I just wanted it to be confirmed. So if you're okay with a month or so of being used, then by all means, say yes. But if you want the entire thing from beginning to end to mean something, then I suggest you say no."

Jane blinks at him. Of course she can see the good side in everybody, but it was always hard to see it in Tony. Now, not as difficult.

"Thank you," she says, giving him a warm smile. "It was rude of you, but I'm glad you did it. And I do know that I'll just be a crutch at first, but I think I'm okay with that. I've already been that crutch for the last two months, and even if I say no I'm going to continue to be. So saying no wouldn't really do anything, would it?"

Tony smiles, pocketing his phone. "I like your thinking. Anyway, I know Loki knew I was eavesdropping on them the entire time, but he probably didn't know I was recording the whole thing…so it'd be really cool if you just kept that all to yourself, okay?"

Jane gives a sweet smile back. "Your secret's safe with me."

He lets out a relieved sigh. "Oh good. I was afraid you'd go all 'I'm too sweet to withhold evidence' and tell Thor you heard the whole thing or something."

She breathes a laugh. "Tony, honestly, you don't survive living with Loki unless you can keep a secret. Besides, we scientists have to stick together, don't we?"

He grins. "Yeah, we do. Bye!" And he runs off, disappearing behind the shelves.

It's still a few minutes later that Thor finally comes out of the shelves himself, looking a lot more nervous than Jane expected. In fact, he looks like he really means what Jane knows he's about to ask. And that makes all of it okay.

Just as the blonde is about to open his mouth, there's a yelp loud enough to make all of Jane, Thor, Bruce, and the multitude of costumers turn as Loki drags a flailing Tony from behind a shelf, Tony's phone in his other hand.

"That is the _last_ time I let you eavesdrop!" Loki snaps, pulling Tony towards the back door where Tony's car is parked.

"But I was helping!" Tony protests. "She said _thank you_!"

"That is no excuse!"

"But Lokiii…"

"Tony, one more word and I'll make you sleep on the _floor_."

Tony huffs as he's dragged outside. "Oh _fine_."

Jane waits another second before turning to the rest of the store. "Sorry about that!" she says. "They won't be coming back anytime soon." Then she turns back to Thor. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

Thor's smile lights up the entire room. "Lady Jane, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner this coming evening."

"You mean tonight?"

"Correct."

"I would _love_ to."

His smile, if possible, grows larger. "Brilliant! In the meantime, I will put away the cart of books you left behind the shelves!" He walks off with a painfully confident air.

That's when an older woman comes up to the register with a couple of books.

"Hi," Jane says with a smile. "How may I help you?"

After the woman voices that she'd like to buy them, she looks back in the direction of where Thor went off to. "He seems like a perfect man for a young lady like you," she says with a smile full of fake teeth.

Jane blushes. "Oh no, we're not a couple quite yet. And I'm actually older than him."

She's still smile. "And I wish you the best of luck."

Jane smiles after her before she smiles over to where she knows Thor is with the cart, not to mention that she can hear him whistling cheerfully. Maybe she thought that she was going to be a crutch at first, but by the way Thor is acting, she might just be the real deal right away.

And that makes all the difference.


	8. Part II, Chapter III

**Part II, Chapter III: Clint and Natasha**

[Part II, Chapter 3 summary: In which the Black Widow, Hawkeye, The Nanny, and the evil Ro-Bo are kicked out of Wal-Mart, Natasha and Clint put off grading papers another day, and love isn't actually as hard as the master assassins in movies make it look.

PS this is totally my favorite chapter because of the beginning I am hilarious.]

_One month after the day of Bucky/Maria and Thor/Jane_  
_NATASHA..._

Natasha dive rolls across the carpeted floor and into a dress rack, putting her finger to her lips when a woman stares at her with a somewhat terrified look. As soon as she leaves, Natasha unclips her Walkie-Talkie from the hook at her side. "Agent Twenty-Four, this is Agent Seventeen," she says into it. "Come in Hawkeye. Over."

There's a scratchy beeping noise before a voice comes through the device: "Agent Hawkeye reporting. Aisles five through twelve are clear, as you requested. No sign of The Nanny or his evil Ro-Bo anywhere. Over."

"Very good, agent. Meet me at eighteen-six. Over."

"Over and out."

She re-clips it before diving back out of the rack, making her way through the Wal-Mart store to the shoe aisles by flips and dives and a few cartwheels. There's no sign of Phil (AKA The Nanny) or Jarvis (AKA the evil Ro-Bo) anywhere, so Natasha thinks she's safe. She does pass a group of teenage boys, though, about eighteen and probably shopping for new apartment things, to which she salutes and says, "Gentlemen," before ducking behind a shelf and coming out behind them, giving them a bit of a fright. Just as she's about to dive out from behind some pants and into the shoes, though, she realizes that she's being stared at by three children between the ages of five and ten who look almost as scared as the woman who saw her in the dress rack.

Natasha grins, unclipping her Nurf gun and holding it up by her head. "Afternoon, kids. I'm Agent Seventeen, but you can call me the Black Widow. I'm here with Agent Twenty-Four, who goes by Hawkeye. We're master assassins on the lookout for two _very_ evil men by the names of The Nanny and the evil Ro-Bo. They're in a black suit and a white one, and they've got guns just like this one." She wiggles her Nurf gun slightly. "How would you like to be recruited as the newest three agents to help us escape their sights so that we good guys get them before they get us?"

The kids' faces light up like Thor's does when he's…well, all the time, and they nod.

"Good. Agents Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, and Thirty-Three, it's good to meet you. If you see them, _don't tell them which way I went_. Throw them off our scent and then try to find us to tell us which way you sent them. Understood?"

They all nod, looking just like they've each been handed a bag full of candy.

Natasha nods to them before looking up to see their mother staring at her with a face that's very difficult to read. Natasha holsters her Nurf gun before saluting to her. "Afternoon, ma'am." And she dive rolls into the shoe aisles.

Across the aisle there's a gun pointed at her, and she's got hers pointed at him just as fast. But it's just Clint, so she holsters it and stands up straight, making her way over to where he is to lean against the shelf so they can see both ways.

"Anyone see you on your way here?" he asks.

"Negative."

"Good. We've gained three powerful, trustful allies. You?"

"Good. Children are always helpful. And no, I'm clean. What's next, Widow?"

"Well, we're going to need to scout out an area big enough for an—"

"ATTAAAACK!"

Phil and Jarvis jump out simultaneously on opposite sides of the aisle that Natasha and Clint are in, Nurf guns drawn and shooting. Natasha pulls out her Nerf gun instantly, shooting at the evil Ro-Bo, while Clint begins his attack on The Nanny. They spin around strategically to re-load from the packs they keep attached to themselves as well, shoving each other out of the way from passing bullets.

But to no avail. Clint takes a bullet to the heart, and he pulls off a very realistic fall without hurting himself. The yelling of "OH NO I'VE BEEN SHOT" isn't exactly realistic, though, but that's okay. They're using Nurf guns, after all.

"Hawkeye!" Natasha yells, dropping down to crouch above him, still shooting at Phil and Jarvis, who are beginning to close in on them. "No, you can't!"

"Go on without me, Widow," he croaks. "I'm of no more use to you."

"By Grapthar's hammer," she growls, standing up and shooting at both of the enemy, "you shall be _avenged_!" She dives forward and manages a shot right in the middle of Jarvis's forehead, and he gives an amazing impression of an explosion, since he's a robot, before dropping to the ground.

But that get's Phil going as well, because as soon as Natasha turns around she takes a bullet to the stomach. She bends down, pretending to cough up blood, and in the time she takes a shot to the shoulder (to which she replies with a blowing herself backwards and onto her back), and then Phil stands above her and shoots her right between the eyes.

With both her and Clint dead, they look up to watch Phil run over to Jarvis, bending down at him. "Ro-Bo, no!" he says frantically. "You can't die! I _need_ you!"

"A-las…" Jarvis coughs out, awkwardly enough in his normal voice. He's a robot in this game for a reason, really. "I can-not…sur-vive… It was a plea-sure to serve with you, Nan-ny." He dies with his eyes open.

Phil gives the most dramatic of all replies to a death: "NOOOOO!" he screams at the very top of his lungs, causing a few people to poke their heads in. One of those people being Logan Howlett, the store manager.

"Oh, not _you_ four again!" he growls. "Get _out_ of my store this _instant_—before I _throw_ you out like I did _last_ month!"

Natasha, Clint, Phil, and Jarvis all leap up, barely able to run from him fast enough as they're bursting into fits of giggles. Natasha waves to the three kids and the group of teenage boys she ran into, and the other three do the same to a few other groups. They also get a few waves from some employees who've recorded them a few times, and Natasha and Phil are the only ones that know just how much of an internet sensation they happen to be when they come to this particular Wal-Mart. There are security cameras all over the place, after all.

They're still laughing on the drive home, but eventually they calm down, as one does.

"Same time next month?" Clint asks with a grin.

"Sounds good to me," Phil says as he drives his big ass American flag van around. "Natasha, are you going to your place?"

"No, drop me off at Clint's. We're grading papers and all my stuff's already there."

A few twists and turns later of Phil having a mostly one-sided conversation with Jarvis about a lady friend of his in Oregon and Natasha talking about how much fun Clint must have had while she was crouched over him after he died, and they pull into the parking garage underneath Clint's apartment complex before he and Natasha pile out and take the elevator to the third floor, which takes them to his room.

It's a shitty little apartment that says is meant for one but is really only meant for half a person, and Clint says he's been trying to find a new place for ages. Natasha knows that's a dirty rotten lie, though. It's not that Clint _likes_ it here, he just that he doesn't _care_. He'd also rather spend his money on something else. Or some_one_ else—a someone whom Natasha knows very well is herself. Little things here and there that "reminded Clint of her", because everybody knows that Clint wants Natasha to be his girl (though Clint doesn't know _she_ knows).

And of course Natasha _wants_ to be his girl, but it's just _so_ much fun making him squirm…making him question her feelings. Tony helps her sometimes, and Loki helps her even more. In fact, it's so much fun to do that even _Steve's_ helped before. And Fury does it just by looking at the guy, so he doesn't count.

Natasha's not sure how much longer she can hold out, though. She has a perfect physical body and she's never been one to hold back in a fight, but she's also not very good at holding back with anything else. When she does something she goes the _whole_ way, which is why she flirts so heavily with Clint that it can't even be called real flirting. She doesn't even do it on purpose. Well…she didn't. _Now_ she does since she knows what it does to him.

Even before they began to teach at the same college they knew each other, though not very well. It was back when _they_ were in college, not in New York, but on a completely different continent, in Budapest. They didn't exactly hang out very much, but they had a mutual friend that always invited both of them over to the huge parties he had.

Natasha had long hair back then… She knows Clint liked it better that way because he had commented on it every single time they were around each other. Whether it was "it looks good curled over to one side of your neck like that" or I "bet you'd totally tock the pigtail look" and even to "would it be weird if I braided your hair during the next lecture?" He just never failed to talk about it.

"So," she says as they settle down in his living room (AKA the majority of the place). She's on his couch (probably the nicest thing in the entire apartment) and he's sitting on the floor by the coffee table. The TV (yes, the couch is even nicer than that) is on, but with the volume at zero, and the radio is on the local news channel.

"'So' what?" Clint says, tossing Natasha her favorite red pen.

"So I was thinking about growing my hair out again."

He looks up at her, his eyes wide before they control themselves and he attempts to cover it up by raising an eyebrow. "Yeah? What for?"

She shrugs, refraining from giving him a smirk. "Well, you liked it better that way, didn't you?"

**OoOoOoO**

_CLINT…_

Despite his efforts and practices of keeping his emotions to himself, Clint blushes anyway, so he quick looks back down at the papers he's grading. "I like it both ways."

Natasha snorts, throwing a gum wrapper at his head. "But which way is _better_?"

He shrugs. He happens to like it better longer, but half of that reason is because he wants to play with it. But other than that, he really likes both styles very much.

"Clint, come on, I want you opinion on this. You, Peggy, Pepper, and Maria are the only ones I actually care about the opinions of."

Clint looks up at her with a frown. "Maria?"

"She'll make fun of anything she doesn't like."

"Good point. I think you should grow it back out." Then, to quick change the subject so he doesn't get hit by anything again, he adds: "Speaking of Maria, has Bucky moved in with her yet?"

"Lord, no. She moved in with him."

"Wait, really? That means there are four people over there, though!"

"Oh, living quarters are _all_ messed up this last week. Sharon still lives there, but Rhodey moved into Tony's place for when he's on leave—which won't be often, since he's gone back now. Loki's also moved in with Tony, Darcy moved in with Bruce, and Thor moved in with Jane. Which means I'm alone in an apartment that's too big for me, so I'm trying to find a new place, too. And now that Maria's at Bucky's, Fury's alone too. Maybe I could move in with him…" She wrinkles her nose up. "Never mind, that would never work. He doesn't like me near enough for that. Anyway, all the rest are the same. Phil and Jarvis, Peggy and Steve, and Pepper and Happy."

Clint takes a deep breath. "So, now you're just going to find a smaller place, or are you going to look for a roommate?"

**OoOoOoO**

_NATASHA…_

Natasha groans, but just for the added effect. She knows that Clint's trying to figure out how _he_ can move in with _her_. "I'd rather just find a smaller place than get a new roommate. That means finding someone totally new, and the _last_ time anybody brought somebody totally new along—ahem, Tony—they ended up fucking everything up for nearly two months between some of us because of the shit between Thor and Loki. So, unless Fury wants to move in with me or something, I'll probably just move into a smaller place."

She watches Clint swallow, but looks back down at her papers as soon as he glances back up at her.

"Well, I mean, you know I'm looking for a new place, and I know it'd be kind of weird and stuff maybe, but I could, um…maybeicouldmoveinwithyou."

Natasha looks back up at him, and she just can't help it. "Sorry? I didn't catch that."

He gives an almost inaudible sigh. "I could live with you."

Natasha gives a clap of joy. "Oh, _would_ you? I can't believe I didn't think of that myself! It's a _brilliant_ idea! You can move out of this hovel and I won't have to find a new place to head out to."

He smiles, his face hopeful. "Can I have your room?"

"Thor's room is bigger."

"I know, but I'm used to smaller spaces since living here."

"Clint, I'm not rearranging the entire apartment just because you're moving in with me. I love you, but not that much. Now call up the guy that owns this place and tell him you're moving out so he can look for a new renter."

A little while later, everything's set. Clint's talked to the renter man and he can nearly point out every single thing he wants to bring with him from his spot on the floor.

"And maybe the bed," he says, "but I've needed a new one anyway."

"You might as well go on a shopping spree. You've needed to since you moved in here."

He rolls his eyes. "Too much work."

"Fine, go on a shopping spree for _me_ to decorate _your_ pare of the house.

He sighs. "Okay, fine, we'll go shopping. Do you think Wal-Mart will let us back in if we actually buy something?"

Natasha smirks. "Wanna go find out?"

"What, now? What about all these papers to grade?"

"It's only Saturday. We can do them tomorrow."

"Well, we can't buy anything until I move out! We don't' know how much space we'll have leftover…"

"Clint, you give me the details like I don't already know them. We'll just put big things on hold and—"

"Can't we just start packing instead? And then we can go shopping _next_ weekend."

Natasha rolls her eyes, swinging her legs off of the couch. "Fine. Go get some boxes. I'll put these papers away."

He nods and shuffles off, and as soon as she's out of sight who _knows_ where to get some boxes, Natasha sighs. This isn't _entirely_ how she planned the night to go. Actually, she planned on ending up in Clint's twin-sized bed with broken springs and a squeaking problem. But she supposes she can keep teasing him for a _few_ more weeks… Or until he's moved in. But not with the shopping (which is fine since he'll be moved in by Friday with the small amount of things he actually has). She has, after all, always wanted to make out with someone on a display beds.

**XxX**

_Three and a half weeks later, on a Wednesday night…_

"_Wow_," Clint huffs, dropping into the new cushy reclining chair from after hauling furniture. "I'm _exhausted_."

"It wasn't _too_ bad," Natasha says, breathing just as heavily as she drops onto her own couch—which will probably be referred to as "the old chair" now even though it's a couch and it's the only one. "Just think about how much worse it would have been if we didn't teach all of those classes."

Clint wrinkles his nose up. "I don't want to."

Natasha smiles at him, still breathing heavily, and tells herself that she's glad she waited to tease him until the _entire_ move was over. Now they'll actually have a new bed to end up in instead of Clint's old thing. "You know what?" she says.

"No, what?"

"This calls for a celebration."

He frowns. "Just because I moved in with you?"

Natasha wants to tease him _so_ badly, but she can't do that tonight. Nope, tonight is it. "Well, yes, but I was more thinking that we managed it in one piece. We didn't even break the lamp my mom sent us."

"Natasha, how is it possible that I didn't know that your mother was even still _alive_?"

She shrugs. "None of us ever talk about our parents."

"Yeah, because most of them are dead."

"Whatever. Do you want to go out to dinner with me or not? If you don't I'll just bring Darcy. Or Peggy. Or whoever's not busy. Don't you _dare_ make me invite Maria. I usually get a trim once a month and it's nearly been two months and I think she's noticed and I don't want to hear anything from her about my appearance right now."

"Natasha, you're beautiful, just ignore her," he says, flitting his wrist at her. She can hear the truth behind his words, though. "I just don't think we should go out after spending so much on furniture and stuff."

She smiles. Now that Clint's actually moved in with her his spending habits are probably going to change a bit, and this is a good start. "Fine," she says, "but we should put something hot on anyway. We can go for a walk or something. The park's only a few blocks away anyway."

"The park? By the time we're ready it will be dark out."

"Then what do you propose? Because I definitely don't want to just sit in here all night."

Clint looks down, scratching the back of his head. "We could."

This is it. Natasha laughs. "I'm still in my workout clothes, I'm sweaty, and now you're _hitting_ on me? I've been waiting for you to hit on me for _years_ and you pick one of the only nights I need a shower!"

Clint looks up at her. "I—what?"

She laughs. "You know, I think that's why I love you. I notice everything and you only notice things about me."

It's actually kind of funny to see the look on Clint's face when his heart stops. "Love? Excuse me?"

Natasha snorts. "What, you think I haven't been watching you all these years? You think my heart didn't swell every time you said something about my hair? You honestly think that years of being best friends with someone of the opposite sex when you're straight that it's even _possible_ not to fall in love with them? Of course I love you. I've loved you for years. I just…didn't know how to tell you. So here we are now."

She can't tell if Clint looks like he's going to throw up or if he's going to get up and kiss her. Sure, this isn't at all how she pictured it going, but as long as she gets her point across it doesn't really matter to her how it goes.

A long moment of silence later, Clint finally decides the latter, because he flips onto the couch and kisses her on the mouth. Natasha is just about to throw herself into the kiss, but Clint pulls away before she can. And he's smirking.

"I knew that," he says, standing up from the couch. "Took you look enough to tell me." And he walks past her towards his bedroom.

Natasha gapes after him before she quick leaps up to follow him, glaring at him as soon as he turns around to face her. "You did not!" she says, putting her hands on her hips. "You're more clueless than _Bruce_ is when people are flirting with him!"

He smirks again, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Yeah, you're right. I just wanted to get closer to you than on the couch."

He kisses her again, softer this time. And she's able to throw herself into it, her arms around his neck and a leg between both of his.

"Hey," Clint whispers against her lips a moment later. "Would you keep your hair short for me?"

She frowns. "But you like it better long."

"Nope. I like it better how you like it, and you like it better short. Besides…" He reaches up a hand and runs it through her hair. "There may be less to play with, but it also means less getting in the way when we…" He blushes.

Natasha smirks at him. "Have sex?"

"You know, sometimes you're so blunt it hurts."

"But you love me anyway."

He smiles. "Yeah. I do love you. And look, I know you want to shower and all that, but can we—"

"Fuck the shower, kick off these clunky running shoes, and just fall into the bed behind us? Yup, sounds good to me."

He smiles brighter. "I wonder if it'd even be possible to keep it a secret."

She laughs, pushing him away to kick off her shoes. "Yeah right. You'd tell Bruce, who'd tell Darcy, who'd tell Loki, who'd tell Tony, who'd tell Steve, who'd tell Bucky, who'd tell Maria, who'd tell Fury, who'd probably tell Jarvis, who'd tell Phil, and that's probably as far as it would get from your end."

"Yeah, well, you'd tell Peggy, who'd tell Steve but since he'd already know about it she'd tell Sharon, who'd tell Rhodey even though he's not on leave anymore, and Rhodey would end up calling Bucky."

"Well, Thor and Jane are going to have to find out _somehow_…"

He frowns, pulling off his shirt. "Yeah, nobody really tells Thor anything, and Jane's the newest… Maybe Darcy would tell her too?"

"Actually, she probably would. So then Jane would tell Thor, and Thor'd probably tell Loki even though he's already heard it."

"Speaking of Thor and Loki, is Thor over him yet?"

Natasha shrugs. "Maybe not completely, but I know that he and Jane have jumped up from holing hands to kissing. He's not exactly the type of person who moves slow, considering that he loved the same person for six years even though he wasn't even positive he was _alive_."

"You know what," Bucky says, grabbing her before she's even done undressing and pulling her into his arms again. "I refuse to talk about the sex lives of anyone but us."

"Talking about our sex life while we could just be adding to it? Yeah right. Kiss me, quick, before everybody knows about us before we even fall asleep."

Clint smirks, dropping back onto the bed, Natasha taking the hint and crawling on top of him. "Yeah, well, with this many people, the only way for word to travel is fast."

_**-The End-**_

* * *

End notes: _"By Grapthar's hammer, you shall be _avenged_!"  
_This line is totally stolen from a movie called Galaxy Quest. The part she speaks, anyway. It's an _awesome_ movie and it has Alan Rickman in it, so you should totally watch it :P


End file.
